Page 89 of My Lemon Grove Summer
I scoop my hair up and twist it into a French pleat at the back, off my neck, like Luca showed me. As I clip it there, Valerie turns and picks up something wrapped in cream tissue paper.
‘I brought my veil,’ she says, almost shyly. ‘I wondered if you’d like to wear it. You don’t have to, of course, if you’d rather not. It’s just . . . well, it’s the only thing I’ve got that would fit in my case, and it does mean so much to me. If you’d rather just have the lemon blossom, that’s fine, but I’d be honoured if you’d wear it.’
‘Oh Valerie, of course I’d love to wear it. I know how important it is to you, how much you loved Lennie’s dad. And I know you want to see Lennie settled and happy.’ Tears spring into my eyes. Oh no! Not now! My make-up! But the tears don’t listen. I try looking up at the ceiling as Valerie starts to place the veil on my head and pin it in place.
‘I want to see both of you happy,’ she says quietly. ‘That’s what life is all about. I want you to find the happiness you deserve because I love you. You are my family as much as Lennie is.’
As she fusses with the short veil, the first of the tears starts to slide down my face. Deciding that brushing it away will only do more damage and draw attention to it, I let it roll down my face and drop off my chin. I can’t do this to her, I can’t ruin her big day.
‘Sometimes in life it’s important to take a chance. You’ve spent so long trying to ignore the voice in your head telling you to act in the moment because you’re worried it gets you into trouble. But that voice is right more often than not. More of us should be like you. Act in the moment and think about it later. Not be scared of what life might hold.’
I squeeze my eyes tight shut for a moment and try and will the tears away. I’m listening for the voice that says marrying Lennie is the right thing to do, but instead it’s being drowned by ‘I’m not in love with Lennie and he’s not in love with me. We’ll just make each other unhappy.’
‘What about Etna, Valerie, do you think the superstition is true?’ I say, trying to hide the crack in my voice.
‘Load of old codswallop! A nice story, great to tell to tourists and to keep the town populated. Whoever came up with it was a genius, but sorry, I don’t believe in fairy tales. Just like I don’t believe in regrets. You do what you do at the time because it’s what you feel is the right thing to do.’
I wish marrying Lennie felt like the right thing to do. I wish I didn’t want to be with Luca, his lips on mine, feeling like nothing else matters.
‘But the townspeople believe in the story about Etna, and because of that, I can imagine they are living in a constant state of worry. Sometimes we put our faith in the strangest of things, and they’re not always the right things. We can only listen to what’s in our hearts.’
My own heart plummets again, and the tears roll silently down my cheeks as I look back at myself in the mirror. How did I get myself into this? I thought it was the right thing to do, the easy option. Marry a man I know, trust and love . . . the slow-cooked meal, all the right ingredients and time to let it grow into something delicious. And then Luca walked into my life – well, I walked into his, to be precise – and bam! I knew it there and then. That was the elusive love at first sight, the thing everyone hopes for. Mine just turned up too late. And the tears plop into my lap.
‘Oh my dear, you’re crying. Let me get you a tissue,’ says Valerie. ‘It’s an emotional day.’
‘I’m fine, really.’ I stand up quickly and turn away, to the window overlooking the lemon grove, where everyone has been hard at work. ‘Like you say, it’s just the emotion of the day,’ I say. I’m with everyone I love and have come to think of as family, but I have never felt more alone.
‘I remember that,’ she says. ‘I couldn’t wait for my married life to begin. I wanted to make the most of our time together.’ She looks at me again, then reaches into her bag and pulls out her phone, probably to check on Lennie, who is getting ready at the new house, with Matteo by his side.
With the terrace now ready, everyone is packing up and getting ready to leave Il Limoneto.
‘I’ve never had free rein before,’ Barry said when he saw his little house. ‘Think I’ll have a TV in the kitchen, and a beer fridge.’
Everyone is making plans. The relocation fund is even back in the bank, and work has stopped on the gym at Romano’s villa. By this time next week, we will all have moved on. Luca already has. Today is the end of an era, but the beginning of a new one.
Valerie has gone to the bathroom to get me some loo roll. I look up at Etna. ‘I don’t know if the superstition is true or not,’ I tell the smoky mountain. ‘But these people deserve to be able to get on with their lives. I hope this makes you happy. I hope you leave them in peace now.’
‘Here we are, dear.’ Valerie bustles back in with toilet tissue in one hand, her phone in the other. ‘Don’t worry,’ she smiles. ‘Life has a way of sorting itself out. Look at the verdello and the mess I made there. Now you have a good little business going.’
She turns towards the door. ‘Time for a Prosecco, I think. Giuseppe left a bottle or two for us downstairs. I’ll get a couple of glasses.’ And she leaves me looking out of the window, across the lemon grove to Etna, feeling like I’ve never been happier or sadder in my life, both at the same time. I love this place, I love Lennie, and I’m in love with Luca, but I can’t have it all, I know that.
Chapter Fifty-two
I walk downstairs slowly, lifting my skirt to show off the shoes Luca left for me, exactly the same colour as the lemon netting. As I turn at the dog-leg, I start to hear the sound of clapping. My housemates are all standing there, staring up at me and applauding. My cheeks flush and I’m glad of the veil covering them and my teary eyes. Valerie is there too, checking over her shoulder out of the window.
It seems cooler today, the sun not quite so fierce, as if it’s stopped putting us to the test. Or maybe it’s just that August is on its way out, September and the autumn round the corner. A time to reflect on the summer that was: not quite the one I was expecting – a bit like life, I think – but an amazing journey, one I won’t forget. And now it’s time to settle and make the most of what I have got.
Ralph hands round glasses of Prosecco.
‘Grazie,’ I say automatically.
‘Prego,’ he smiles back. We have become so integrated in our Sicilian way of life, I can’t ever imagine leaving here. But if I don’t marry Lennie, the town will hate us and we’ll have to go.
‘I think I should start walking to the town hall,’ I say.
‘No, it’s okay, there’s a lift coming for you,’ says Valerie, and I realise that’s what she’s looking out for.
We sip our drinks and talk about how smart everyone looks, and how they wish Luca was here.
