Page 102 of Savannah Royals
“And what is the truth, Kat? What was I to you…a mark? A simp?”
“No.” I shake my head, desperate for him to understand. “You’re not a simp, Matt. I’m not playing you. My feelings for you are real.”
Tooreal.
His jaw is tight, set. “You can see why it’s difficult to believe you, right? How am I ever supposed to believe another word that comes out of yourmouth?” His eyes scan my face, looking closely. So closely, I could cry. “Youare the Cat Burglar? The femme fatale of the Wolfpack?”
“Get it?” I smile softly, sadly, and share our inside joke with him. “KatBurglar?”
It costs me everything to say it. I know this—this right here—is where the sidewalk ends.
“Hilarious,” he whispers, tone hollow. He reaches for my left wrist, turning it over. Rubbing his thumb over blank skin.
“You won’t find anything there,” I tell him. He’s searching for the mark, the one his family’s newspapers made infamous. I raise my right hand instead and show him my real tattoo. The one he saw when we were inside with Paul.
The queen of diamonds.
“This is it. My mark.”
He takes my hand and looks closely, breathing in and out. “This is the finger where you wear that ring, the big silver one. The one I asked you about.”
“Yes.”
“Is it his ring?” He nods toward the pub, toward Paul.
“It is.”
“And you’re in love with him?”
“I am…I was.” I grope for words.
“Those are two different things,” he says, watching me.
I stay silent.
“Are you in love with me too?” he finally asks.
And I want to say the words. They’re right there, right on the tip of my tongue, but something holds me back.
Because I’ve never truly believed I deserve Matthew, that I get to keep him forever. Not really.
“Kat.” Matthew takes my trembling hands, gearing up for one last try. “I want you to listen very carefully. I’m not running from this. I don’t care about who you were before me. I don’t care about what you did. Who you slept with. If you’ve…hurt people. I don’t care about any of it. All I care about is what you do from this moment forward. We’re at a crossroads. Right now. No more lies, no morebullshit.”
I nod numbly.
“I’m asking you, here and now, to consider another way. Another life. One with me, away from…all of this.” He gestures at the dark night around us, back toward the pub, where Paul sleeps, unaware.
All of this.
The words sting. My kaleidoscope of a world, my entirelife, wrapped in a neat little package with three small words. By someone like him.
I take a slow, deep breath. “You think I need saving, don’t you? Like one of your patients? I don’t. Matthew,all of thisis who I am.” I spread my arms. “I’m not ashamed of it. I’m not. Those are my best friends in there. We were underdogs, the biggest out there, and we beat the odds together. Did I set out to hurt people? No. But if someone threatens one of them, I won’t hesitate. I protect what’s mine. And they do the same for me. They’re myfamily, and I won’t leave them behind just because a better offer comes along. I can’t.”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “If that’s your choice, so be it. I won’t ask you to compromise, but you can’t expect me to either. I won’t play second fiddle, and I cannot condone hurting people. I can’t be a part of that. I folded on my morals once before and have regretted it every day since. I won’t bend here, not again. Not even for you.”
“So this is it.” I hug myself, preparing for the fracture. Bracing for it. “An insurmountable impasse.”
“It wasn’t insurmountable, Kat.” He shakes his head. “It’s very simple. You’re either mine or you’re his. Tonight, you made your choice.”
