Page 49 of Savannah Royals
“Matthew?”
“What?”He shoves his hands in his pockets, agitated.
I pause, considering the words I’m about to say. I roll them around in my head, tasting their curious flavor. Trying to decide whether I’m hungry enough to set them free. I’ve never said anything like this to any other mark, never had the thought or barest whiff of desire cross my mind. I wonder, faintly, if this makes me a traitor to Paul, but I push the thought deep down, shelving it for introspection when I’m alone.
“What would you say to me right now if I offered?” I hold his eyes with my own.
“Offered what?”
I look meaningfully at him.
“Christ, Katarina.” He shakes his head. “No.”
I see straight through him.“Bull. Shit.”
He meets my gaze head-on, but he doesn’t say anything. The silence stretches for an eternity. We’ve traversed quite far along the beach, out of sight of the picnickers, which suits nicely.
“Do you…” He rubs his mouth nervously. “Katarina, we’re at a family picnic. Outside.”
“I understand. It’s not a deterrent for me.”
“Are you serious?”
“Yes.”
“Why?”
“Does it really matter?” I ask, surprised.
“Yes. It does. It matters to me, very much.”
“Because…” I grasp for the words, trying to explain to myself as much as him. There’s a certain calculation here, there always is. But also…
Because I’m curious what it’s like to touch the sun.
“Don’t think about it. Don’t bullshit me. Just tell me why.” A muscle ticks in his jaw.
“Because you make me want to,” I reply simply. “You. Not Ethan or your family or your money. Just you.”
He’s still silent, evaluating me.
“You make me laugh,” I add. “A lot. Which doesn’t hurt.”
Finally, he cracks a smile. “You make me laugh too. I wish we could just…wind back the clock and return to that.”
“You’d rather laugh with me than sneak off down the beach?” I’m incredulous.
“Katarina, I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give, but we have plenty of time.”
“Kat,” I correct. “My friends call me Kat.”
“Hi, Kat. I’m Matt.” He moves in toward me, a single slow step. “Nice to meet you. Again.”
“Hi, Matt.”
“Hi, Kat,” he repeats, whispering now.
I hold my breath. He’s standing close. Very close.
