Page 79 of Hate You, Maybe
For better or worse.
Anyway, this is probably the universe’s way of reminding me that love is complicated. Emotions run high in the moment, but feelings always change over time. And a person you thought you knew turns out to be something completely different.
We end the call, and I rise from the bed, glancing out the window, where Dex sits hunched over his legs. He’s got his hands on his knees, his chin to his chest. He looks like disappointment in a chair.
I did that to him. Or my mom did. Both of us.
Team Kroft.
And no, I’m not my mother, and Dexter’s surely not Eugene. He’s not like any of the other men who have blown through our lives over the years. But he’s still my coworker. And even though we’ve known each other for years, I finally started scratching below the surface of who he really is. He’s letting me in. We’re both opening up.
And that’s dangerous.
As if he senses my thoughts, Dex turns and meets my gaze through the window. He tips his head, like he’s checking to see if I’m done. When I nod, he hauls himself up and comes back inside. His eyes are full of concern, and my heart squeezes. He’s worried something’s seriously wrong. And I can’t be sure he isn’t right about that.
“Your mom all right?”
“It’s a long story.” I take a beat, puff out a small laugh. “Onsecond thought, the story’s pretty short, and the ending is no surprise. But she’ll be okay. She always is.”
Iwas the collateral damage. I just don’t want to be that anymore.
“How about you?” The lines around his eyes soften. “You okay?”
“Sure. And as a bonus, I’m free on Christmas now.”
A crease forms between his brow. “Yeah, I don’t know what that means.”
“It means I learned a lesson tonight.”
“What’s that?”
“Not to make plans you never intend to see through.”
Dex runs a hand over his hair. “Why do I get the feeling this has something to do with our kiss?”
“For the record, I have no regrets,” I say. “I’m just glad we got that out of our system. Now, when we go back to Stony Peak, we can put all our focus where it belongs—on the SACSS visitation.”
“So that’s it, then?” He lets out a jagged laugh. “We just wake up tomorrow and forget about everything that happened tonight?”
“I think that’s for the best.”
He draws in a long breath, holds it. Exhales. “Yousurethat’s what you want?”
“Yes,” I lie.
“All right, then.” He pushes his hands into his pockets and ducks his head. “I suppose I’ll have to live with that, too.”
Wow. Okay.
A part of me is relieved he’s letting the subject go so easily. Still, a sliver of hurt sticks in my side.He’s letting the subject go … so easily.
Maybe this didn’t mean as much to him as I thought it did.
“Now, forgive me,” he says. “But before we go to bed, I just have to ask. What’s the verdict?”
“On what?”
“On the kiss.” His mouth slopes sideways. “You said you thought kissing me for real might be epic.”
