Page 58 of Hate You, Maybe

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Me

Soon. What’s up?

Mom

How do you feel about December 25th?

Me

Christmas? Big fan.

Mom

I meant for the wedding.

Ah. Right. Leave it to my mother to turn Jesus’s birthday into a party for herself.

Mom

You know I’ve always dreamed of a Christmas wedding.

Me

This is the first I’ve heard of that. Brand-new information.

Mom

Well, the restaurant will be closed that day, and my manager said we could have the ceremony and reception right here for FREE. And since the place will already be decorated, we’ll also save money on flowers and lights. Plus if we get married on Christmas, Eugene won’t forget our anniversary. Probably.

Me

How romantic.

Mom

Your sarcasm is not appreciated.

Me

If you do get married on Christmas, I’ll be there, Mom.

Mom

What do you mean IF I get married?

Me

Sorry. I mean when you get married. Just please don’t pick an ugly maid of honor dress.

Mom

Is there any other kind?

Me

Good point. Thanks for the reminder never to get married.

Mom

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