Page 95 of Hate You, Maybe
Our Friday rehearsals ended an hour ago, and almost everyone else has left school, but Dex is still in his office. A shiver racks my body at the thought of being alone with him again. Or maybe the temperatures have dropped more than expected. Either way, I throw on my lucky cardigan before heading across campus.
The late-afternoon air is crisp and tinged with the scent of wood and allspice. In the quad, fallen leaves dapple the grass. Planters of seasonal shrubs line the walkways. Like most of the structures at Stony Peak, the science building is red brick with stone accents. Some of the largest, oldest, most beautiful oak trees shade the east side. And above both entrances, engraved in the concrete, is this message: Truth Above All.
Dexter’s office is on the second floor, so I scurry up the stairs and pop inside. He’s at his desk, and stacks of papers and folders crowd every surface. On the tallest pile under the window is his teddy bear.
“Hey, there!” He clambers out of his seat, clearing his throat. “I didn’t know you were coming. I was just reorganizing my filing cabinets. You inspired me to put everything in order. By year. By course. By sport. All the records and invoices and lesson plans.” He comes around the desk. “I had to take everything out first, so we’re a little disorganized.”
We. I nod at the bear, grinning. “Is this Clarence?”
“Yep.”
“And you normally keep him in your filing cabinet?”
“Yeah, well.” Dex ducks his head, bashful. “I can’t exactlyhave a teddy bear on display during a disciplinary meeting with a student.”
“Poor Clarence.” My lips twitch. I’m absolutely loving the fact that, for once, Dex is the one who’s off-balance. “Don’t worry, I won’t tell anybody.” I take a beat. “Well, anybodyelse.”
He tips his chin. “What does that mean?”
“Imight’vementioned Clarence to Loren,” I confess. But we’re talking about a teddy bear, not some criminal rap sheet. “And by ‘might have,’ I mean I definitely told Loren.”
Dex lets a thread of air out through his teeth, but he says nothing.
I shift my weight, uncomfortable now. “You didn’t say he was a secret.”
“You’re right.” His jaw ticks. “I didn’t.”
“I’m sorry.” I cringe. “I only brought him up to Loren because you telling me about your bear was one of the highlights of our retreat. That’s the moment my feelings about you started to shift.”
His expression warms, and he strides over to Clarence. “I guess that’s a good thing, then.” In the big window above him, old branches stretch, bare and finger-like, almost close enough to touch the glass. “Especially considering how much time we’ve had to spend together lately.”
Dex turns back to me, and I test out a small smile. “Working so closely with me hasn’t beentooterrible, right?”
“Heh.” His eyes crinkle at the edges. “Only mild torture.”
“Seriously, though.” I lift a brow. “Why do you keep Clarence here? Do you just love reliving the memory of having your tonsils removed?” I expect him to laugh, but he shakes his head, eyes back on the bear.
“As a matter of fact, I forgot about him as soon as we got home from the hospital. But my little sister dug him out of a toy box years later. She’s the one who named him. Slept withhim every night. Those two had a real love affair going for a while.”
“I see.” My lips twitch. “So you were jealous.”
“Not exactly.” He lets out a nostalgic sigh. “When I went away to college, I was the first kid in my family to move out, so my mom tucked Clarence into one of my bags. Later that night, after everyone had left, I found him at the bottom of a suitcase, tucked in between a bunch of socks. I was pretty homesick, so I kept him.” He averts his gaze, like the memory makes him shy. “To this day, he reminds me about what really matters in life, you know? He connects me to my past. To my family.”
“Aww.” I swallow. “He’s love.”
“Sounds kind of corny.” Dex pushes out a chuckle. “But yeah. You could say that.”
“Well, Iwouldsay that, since I’ve kept literally nothing from my childhood. My mom made us travel so light, she didn’t save even a single box of my stuff. I’ve got zero mementos or keepsakes.” A smirk slips out of me. “You have no idea how lucky you are that your childhood was so perfect.”
“Yeah, well.” His eyes come back to mine. “Nothing’s perfect.”
“Oh, really?” I snark. “Try telling that to everyone at Stony Peak who thinks you’re as close to perfection as a person can get.”
“I don’t care what they think.” Dex takes a step toward me, his gaze holding mine. “What doyouthink, Kroft?”
My pulse picks up, and I press my lips together, willing myself not to say anything stupid.
Like,I think you’re funny and generous and brilliant and dedicated, and I kind of want you to kiss me senseless right now.
