Page 18 of Hate You, Maybe
“Saving myself from the spawn of evil is ridiculous?”
“Evil?” She rolls her eyes. “Come on, Sayla. Dex may have flaws, but the man is hardly evil. I’ll bet half the staff would gladly trade places with you this week. They all think he’s a pretty good guy, and if I’m being honest, I don’t disagree. Plus, you have to admit, he’s kind of a babe.”
“Babe like the pig?”
“No, like Zac Efron. Except notHigh School MusicalZac Efron. That would be weird, seeing as how we teach high school. I’m talking about facial hair Zac Efron. He’s pushing forty now. A totally age-appropriate babe. Like Dex.”
“Excuse me, ma’am.” I frown at her. “But aren’t you engaged?”
“Oh, you know I love Foster.” She waves away my question. “But I still have eyes, and he’d probably admit Dex is handsome, too. Either way, you need to get a move on.” She pats my knee. “I’m going to make you a smoothie, with extra vitamin C, andyou’regoing to finish getting ready before Dexter shows up.” She rises from the bed, pointing a finger at me. “Come out when you’re ready, matey.”
“Ahoy.” I spit a long strand of hair out of my mouth.
“Atta girl.”
As Loren heads to the kitchen, I drag myself over to the closet to throw on my brand-new hiking boots. I ordered them online specifically for the retreat. They’re basically a pair of blisters waiting to happen. Just another thing to dread about the next seventy-two hours.
So when my phone starts buzzing with an incoming call from my mom, I’d literally rather have scurvy than talk to her. The blender starts whirring in the kitchen, and my entire soulcraves just ten more minutes of peace. But this is my mother. The only parent I’ve ever had. So, of course I take her call.
“Hi, Mom,” I say, without masking the sigh that follows.
“Hey, baby!” she squeals. “I knew my little early bird would be up catching the worm!” I’d appreciate the pride in her voice more, except I’m pretty sure she thinks all my positive qualities are because of her, not despite her.
And I’m pretty sure she’s wrong.
Then again, I did watch her closely for my first eighteen years, taking copious mental notes on who I didn’t want to be when I grew up. And for the past decade, I’ve been doing everything in my power to be her exact opposite. So yeah. Maybe who I amisbecause of my mom after all. Just not in the way she thinks.
Mission accomplished.
“I’m putting you on speaker while I finish getting ready,” I say, trying not to sound as exasperated as I feel.
“For work?” she asks. “Are you still teaching?”
“Yeah, Mom.” I let out a half scoff. “Still teaching. That was kind of the whole reason I got my credential.”
“Are you still at that same school?”
“Yep. Stony Peak High,” I say. “Three years and counting.” I’m sure that’s difficult for her to wrap her brain around, given the fact that she’s never kept a job for more than six months. One of the reasons she’s stuck with being a server her whole life is that she could always find work at some new restaurant. No matter how often we moved.
No matter what state we ended up in.
“My little girl must be running that place by now,” she says.
I can’t tell if she’s trying to be funny, if she’s impressed, or if she’s truly that out of touch with the concept of anyone staying at the same workplace for more than a single season.
“Not exactly,” I say, gathering a brush and a ponytailholder to do my hair. “But I’m kinda busy, if you were just calling to chat.”
“I promise not to take up too much of your precious time,” she says, although with my mother, this is rarely true. Once Colleen Kroft gets talking, she usually has plenty to say about her favorite subject: Colleen Kroft.
“It’s just that I have some news!” She punctuates her statement with a little squeak of excitement.
“Oh?” As I stride over to the mirror, unease stirs in the pit of me like snowflakes in a shaken globe. My mother’s news could be literally anything, but I’ll bet she’s about to be on the move again. Goodbye, Apple Valley, Oregon.
After all, it’s been four months since she started dating the bookkeeper at The Clumsy Goat. Someone could’ve reported their relationship to HR, and when they had to sign disclosure papers, the guy balked.
That’s happened to her on at least three occasions. Other times she blurted, “I love you,” to a new boyfriend just a little too soon. Once she found out the man she was involved with had a whole other family he was lying about.
“Baby, I’m engaged!” she whoops.
