Page 82 of That Time We Kissed Under the Mistletoe
A kaleidoscope of emotions tumbles through me. If only I’d been in the room, I would’ve been able to defend Three. Then again, my parents never spoke this openly about him when I was around. So I had no idea, and Three didn’t tell me.
“Why didn’t you saysomething?”
He winces like my suggestion causes him real physical distress. “I’d just graduated from high school, Sara. And you know what science says about the prefrontal cortex in boys that age, right? I probably didn’t reach full brain maturity until … I don’t know.” He lets out a sad scoff. “A couple years ago?”
“Like Sully.” I take a stuttering breath.
“Exactly like Sully.”
I’m quiet for a moment, as the truth plucks at my heartstrings, like a harpist in my chest. “I was in love with you.”
“Well, I didn’t know that,” he blurts. “Not for sure. I hoped. I wanted to believe it. But …” His sentence dies off.
“If you just would’ve told me?—”
“I’m telling you now,” he interrupts. His voice is a husky scrape. “I was in love with you, too.”
“If that’s true”—my eyes burn with unshed tears—“why didn’t you fight for me?”
“I couldn’t.” He keeps his gaze trained on me. “Not after what your dad said next.”
Heat spreads through my torso, flaming up my throat, burning my cheeks. “What could’ve been worse?”
“He told your mom you were only using me to rebel. Biding your time with me to establish your independence.” He putsbiding your timein air quotes and my heart sinks a little lower.
“He really said I was using you?”
“Those might’ve been your mom’s words, actually.” The crease in his brow deepens. “But they both agreed you were only looking to prove you couldn’t be controlled. And their theory made sense to me.”
“Three.”
“I know,” he says. “That’s a pretty tragic indictment of my confidence back then, right?” He lets out a wounded scoff. “They were going to confront you later that night—to tell you how they really felt—so I ended things first.” His nostrils flare. “It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, but I told myself it was therightthing.”
“According to who?”
He averts his gaze. “You adored your mom. Your dad was your hero. You don’t even want to believe me now. So I couldn’t come out against them then. And I didn’t want to come between you. I couldn’t make you choose, Sara.”
“I would’ve chosen you.”
“Which also would’ve hurt you.” He takes a beat, then continues slowly. “I wanted you to have the best life possible, and I wasn’t the best.”
“You were.”
A vein pulses at his temple. “If I’d actually thought that, I would’ve given anything to be your man.”
I let out a little yelp, then gulp down the boulder threatening an avalanche in my throat. “So you lied.”
“I did.”
“You made me think my first love was all in my head.”
He drags a hand along the back of his neck, stopping short when he hits the bandage. “Your dad’s a great lawyer, and I was working with the evidence he presented, not with what I wished were true.” He swallows hard. “Your parents thought you deserved more. I agreed.”
“Well, they were wrong.” The corners of my eyes are wet now. “Andyouwere protecting your ego.”
“Maybe.” His nod is almost imperceptible. “Sure. Yes. Self-preservation’s a powerful motivator.”
“You broke my heart.”
