Page 79 of That Time I Kissed The Groomsman Grump
“Oh, I miss plenty.” My mouth tics. “All the time. So what’s on your mind?”
He takes a step forward, kicking a rock toward the beach. I hold my breath… waiting for what he’s been thinking about. Or who. He screws up his face. “Mac.”
“Your cousin?” Hmmm. That wasnotthe answer I expected. I was kind of hoping Brady had been thinking about me. Thatmaybehe was trying to figure out some way to make something work between us despite all the obstacles. But instead of continuing to ask questions, I wait for him to be ready to say more. After another moment of quiet, Brady glances up at the doors to the pub.
“Mac offered to pay for my vet school,” Brady says, swinging his focus back to me. “All of it. No strings attached.”
“Ha!” My eyes pop wide.Winking open. “All of it?!”
“Yeah. I know.” Brady drops his arms. “It’s big.”
“I’ll say.” I shake my head, processing the actualbigness of the offer. “So if you accept… that means you wouldn’t have to wait around to save more money or deal with any student loans. You could just apply to vet schools during the next admission period, and you’d never owe a dime.”
“Pretty much.”
“That’s incredible, Brady!”
“Yeah.” He swallows so deeply, I can see his throat ripple. “What’s even more incredible is—” He pauses for air, an audible inhale. “I think I want to turn him down.”
“What? Why?” My brain immediately takes a different track than Brady’s. How could he even consider rejecting this opportunity? “I know you feel obligated to take over the clinic someday, and I appreciate your loyalty. I do. It’s one of the things I admire most about you.”
I want to say it’s one of the things Ilovemost, but love is probably too strong a word. I don’t want to scare Brady off when he’s clearly feeling skittish. But someday—if we find a way to spend more time together—I can see myself falling for Brady. No. That’s not true.
I’m already falling. Hard.
“Don’t admire me,” he mutters. “I haven’t earned that.”
“Yes, you have,” I insist. “Look at all you’ve done for the Swansons just this week, let alone the past couple of years. They’d have to understand if you took a break to go to school full time.” I shuffle another step closer, hoping Brady’s brain can picture what’s in mine. “You could apply to a program near Los Angeles. You’d be near Kasey and Beau for a few years.” I blink. “And near me.”
“Nat.” He drops his chin, and my heart sinks right along with it. Clearly he’s not feeling the same potential I am. Not for us. Not even in the future. I square my shoulders, trying to muster up strength from hidden corners of my insides. As much as it hurts, I need to pull myself together. Salvage whatever shreds of dignity I have left.
Anyway, I shouldn’t be surprised he’s not willing to shift gears. For most of my life, I’ve been the default choice. I was Shannon and Paige’s third-wheel friend. Now I’m a replacement roommate with a waitlist if things don’t work out. Kasey only asked me to be her maid of honor because she couldn’t pick between her cousins.
“It’s okay,” I say. “I understand.” My voice is so soft now, I can barely hear myself. “I put you in an awkward position. Again. And I’m so, so sorry.” I tip my chin. “Kasey’s your sister, and Beau’s your best friend. You’ll always be connected, so of course you don’t have to move to California to get closer to them. You’ll go to vet school here in New York, take over the Swanson’s practice, and make a life in Abieville.”
Brady’s eyes flash. “That’s not it.” His voice is gruff, and he glances up at the pub again. The music has shifted to more of a dance club vibe. Like Grant predicted, things start hoppin’ at eight. Still, the upbeat pulse inside the pub is the exact opposite of the feeling inside me.
“I need to tell you something.” Brady takes my elbow, leading me around the back side of the inn. We leave the paved walkway, taking the dirt path that eventually transitions to sand. Beyond that is the lake. Lights from boats reflect off the water. Waves gently lap against the shore.
Brady’s probably worried someone might come out and see us together in front of the pub. We’ve both agreed we don’t want to bring any drama to the wedding, and Brady’s an honorable guy. He doesn’t want any rumors about us floating around, especially since he sees no future with me. And the fact that he cares about my reputation is another thing I admire about him.
Loveabout him.
He stops at a bench under a tree between the inn and a detached boat house. There’s no light here, besides the moon. He nods for me to sit, then takes the spot next to me. When he reaches out to take my hands—both of mine in his—my heart starts banging again.
“What’s going on?” My breath hitches.
“If I take Mac’s money and go to vet school, I know myself. I know my family. I’ll feel locked into that trajectory for the rest of my working life. Full time at the clinic during the week. Overnights. Weekends. Emergencies. That job will be all-consuming if I do it right. And I wouldn’t do anything less. So by then, I won’t be able to be honest. With anyone else. Especially myself.”
“Honest?” My mouth is dry. When I lick my lips, his eyes flicker down, then back again. “What do you need to be honest about?”
He squeezes my hands. “You’ve inspired me, Natalie. Your willingness to pick up and move. To try new adventures. It’s brave. And impressive. And I want to take a leap too.”
I swallow hard. “What kind of leap?”
He exhales in one long shuddering breath. Then he looks down at our hands. “I want to be an author.”
“Ahhh…” I suck in air as an image of Brady’s notebook flashes behind my eyelids. The paragraphing I saw on the pages inside. The varying sentence length, quotation marks, and dialogue. “You’re writing a book,” I breathe out. This isn’t a question. I know the answer. Everything Brady has told me the past few days falls into place. He’s been dropping hints like puzzle pieces. His nod is slow, eyes wide.
