Page 71 of Fix Them Up
‘It’s fine,’ He smiled when I met his gaze. ‘I do it all the time.’
We stared at each other a moment, and I wondered if he wasalso aware of the last time we stood this close, in this kitchen. Liam was the first to look away, turning to flip over the second toasty, more careful not to burn himself this time.
‘You should talk to him,’ I said after a few seconds. ‘About the restaurant. If it’s something you want to do.’
Liam was quiet for a moment and then said, ‘Yeah. Maybe.’
‘Do you still want to do it?’
‘I think about it all the time.’ He kept his gaze down, and his cheeks flushed like he was confessing to something embarrassing. ‘I think about menus before bed. Wake up the next day wanting to test them out at home.’ He shook his head. ‘But it’s my fault. I chickened out.’
‘You should talk to him even if it’s an excuse to make things right. I know I wish I had with Dad. Before it was too late.’
Liam turned to me. ‘Okay, Red, if it makes you happy. I will.’ His tone didn’t sound… happy. It was almost resigned. He stared down at the pan; one side of the toasty was a golden brown, the other sizzling away.
‘You avoided me today.’
‘I –’
‘Why?’ He turned to face me, his expression frank and earnest. He was so bloody direct. I took a deep breath in.
If he wanted direct, he’d get direct.
‘I felt awkward about the kiss situation. And what I said after meeting Yasmin and Abigail. I didn’t know what to say. Well, actually, I did know what I wanted to say.’ I exhaled, preparing my speech. ‘I’m really, really sorry about what I said this morning. I was a total bitch, and I really shouldn’t have brought all my baggage into this. And I’m also sorry for the drunken kiss – that was a moment of true insanity that I don’t think I will ever live down in my whole life. Like full-body cringing forever.’
‘So you hid.’
‘What? Did you hear what I just said?’
‘I heard you, but I want to understand why you hid rather than saying that to me.’
‘I was being a chicken.’ I threw my hands up. ‘A big fucking chicken.’
He nodded. ‘Okay.’
‘Okay?’
‘If you need to hide for a while, that’s fine. But let me know when you need space. I was worried. I didn’t like it.’ His eyes searched mine in a way that made my throat tighten.
‘Okay. I will,’ I said, dumbfounded.
Liam nodded and slid the toasty out of the pan and onto my plate, all crunchy yet gooey. I bit into it, tasting the sharpness of the cheddar cheese followed by the smoky, spicy taste of the nduja. It was a perfect midnight snack.
‘Do you want some?’ I asked around a mouthful.
‘No, I’m fine,’ He moved closer as I finished my last few bites. ‘Did you eat today?’ His eyes were roaming mine like he was looking for the answer in my skin or the colour of my eyes. I smelt cedar again, and I wanted to rub my head into his hoodie like a fucking cat.
Ugh, so pathetic.
This was a full-blown crush, and I felt utterly out of control. And I had enough I needed to control – for example, myself.
‘Hmm?’ Liam asked expectantly. Right. He’d asked a question.
‘Ah – no.’ I racked my brain. ‘I don’t think so. I had a coffee with Lydia today.’
Liam tutted. Actually tutted.
Was that hot? Did I want him to tut at me again?
