Page 130 of The Reno
“Liam and I are together. I know I’ve only been here a little while, but I found a home here. I like it here. And it likes me back. I’m moving up here, and you can’t convince me otherwise.”
“I don’t know what to say. This is so incredibly selfish, Katherine. What about Graham and me? We’re not getting any younger, and you want to move two hundred miles away. What if something happens and we need help?”
“You said you were going travelling next year. So what difference would it make?”
Mum scoffed. “Travelling. Who on earth told you that?”
“You did. You and Graham have all those travel books. You said after retirement—”
“That’s a dream, Katherine. It would be nice to travel the world, but we have a life to consider. Responsibilities. Normal people don’t just drop everything. And at our age…” She laughed. “We could never do anything like that.”
I thought about all the times Mum limited herself. All theexamples flickered through my head. She loved to bitch about her boss but never went for a promotion when he resigned. She always complained about the house but never put any work into repairing the creaky floorboards or touching up paint. She could travel and see the Pyramids and the mountains in Peru, but she wouldn’t leap.
She liked her life to be small and manageable.
Nothing I ever dreamt about was small and manageable.
She was never going to understand me or Liam or Everly Heath. She’d never understand why I wanted to move here and how it wasn’t daunting to me in the slightest. I wanted to share all of this with her, but I imagined her repeating it back to me, all the words sounding ridiculous out of her mouth.
The whole idea sounded silly—a pipe dream.
Mum shook her head. “I knew this would happen. This is why I’m so hard on you, Katherine. This is just like your dad—unreliable. I mean, if you don’t think of Graham and me, then think of Willa. She’s been left in the lurch. She put faith in you when she hired you after all those dead-end jobs after university. She trusted you, and now, when she needs you most, you abandon her to renovate some hovel.”
Tears burned under my eyes, but I didn’t open them.
Mum placed her hand on my shoulder. “There’s no need to cry, darling. I’ll send the estate agent details, and we’ll get it sorted.”
I took in a shaking breath and gave a sharp nod. I felt like I was twelve again.
“Good. I’ve got an open return on the train, so I’llhead back.” Judgement laced her voice. “I doubt I’m welcome here. I’ll book you on a train for this week, and we can sort everything remotely, okay?” Mum patted my shoulder again. “We’ll sort it all out, darling. Get you back to normal.”
Mum left in a blur. I remember shutting the door behind me. I slid down the back of the door and burst into tears. I smelt Liam’s cedar scent first, and then I felt his strong arms come around me and hold me.
THIRTY-SEVEN
Mum sent me the train ticket on the Monday after her visit. She emailed it to me with no message. I’d opened my phone to look at it several times.
Liam had given me space after Mum’s visit.
After she left, he led me to his sofa, pulled a blanket over me, and brought me bowls of food and cups of tea with reruns ofGilmore Girlson in the background. Liam’s eyes searched mine like he was looking for signs of life. I fell asleep on his sofa, but he pulled the blanket higher and kissed my forehead.
On the second day, I went back to the annexe. I didn’t want to burden Liam with my pathetic wallowing. I needed to pull myself together and get over it. Either stand up to my mum or go back to London. I screamed at myself to make a decision, but I couldn’t.
So I just lay in bed, paralysed by indecision.
Mum had chipped away at any confidence Liam or Everly Heath had instilled into me. Any faith in myself or my abilities was gone.
On the third day, I was asleep when I felt the covers move, theweight on the mattress and the smell of cedar. It was a moment before he spoke.
“Red,” Liam said, his voice hoarse. “Talk to me.”
“I can’t.”
“Why?”
I shifted, facing him. His brows were wrinkled, but his eyes were open and loving. Like he just wanted to make it better. He lifted his hand and rubbed his thumb across my cheek.
“Ren gets like this. I know the signs. He can’t move for a few days. I used to bring him meals just to see some sign of life. It’s probably why I love cooking so much.” Liam leaned forward and kissed my forehead. “Take as long as you need, Red. But come back to me, will you? When the fog is gone.”
