Page 115 of The Reno
“You choose,” I said, turning back to the bedrooms.
The carpets were going in this week, and I wasn’t particularly excited. I was just thankful they weren’t grey.
“Red,” Liam said, his voice following behind me. I kept my gaze away from him, worried he’d read the misery on my face. His hand came up and cupped my neck, and he planted a kiss on my forehead.
“Talk to me.”
I sighed into the contact, some of my residual anxiety running out of me.
“I fucking hate the white tiles,” I started. “And I know that is stupid because I picked them, and you took ages tiling, but I hate them. They are too white, and it’s too bright in there.” I raised my hands. “It’s boring. Nothing like what I designed. And I hate it.”
Silence.
I finally looked up to find Liam holding back a laugh.
“What?” I asked, exasperated.
“That’s all? The tiles?” He lifted my head to look at him. “I’ll take them down right now if you want. I’ll go pick up the ones you want.”
I ran a hand across my face. “No—those tiles are fine. It’s not what I imagined, and I knew that would happen. But I didn’t prepare myself to see it. To see all of it and be underwhelmed.”
I glanced around the house at the inoffensive white walls and the bare alcoves. I’d wanted to pay a carpenter to install some fitted wardrobes before I realised I’d be spending the money on someone else. My clothes wouldn’t be thrown in in a manic hour of tidying before company came over. No, the person who bought this house would probably be all ordered and fold their clothes into perfect squares.
I shook my head. I couldn’t believe I was becoming resentful of a fictional person.
“Do you want me to take them down?” Liam asked, and my head whipped up. He wasn’t joking. He had his serious face on. He’d spent a whole day tiling that bathroom. “I’ve got a hammer. I can start taking them down now. I’ll go to the shop now and order the other ones.” I could see the cogs turning in his brain. “It won’t set us back many days. I can move on to the kitchen.”
“No,” I said, my hand linking with his. “Thank you, but no. I’m just being stupid. Childish. This is me banging my feet on the floor. It’s a tantrum.”
Liam’s lips twitched. “I’m familiar.”
“Hey! I’m not that bad.”
Liam pulled me into his chest. “I told you before. Anything you want, Kat. Anything. I’ll make it happen. You know that, right?”
I planted my head against his chest, breathing him in. He did make it better. Just breathing in his scent and hearing his steady heartbeat. I supposed that was our dynamic. I was hectic and overemotional, while Liam was steady and rational. We stood there for a few more moments as some of the anxiety dripped away.
Liam kept telling me, through his actions, that he was invested in this relationship, and all I’d done was insist we keep it casual. I’d never had someone so committed to me before, and it was scary. He was so certain of my vision and what I could do. It made me feel invincible and powerful. I wanted to feel like that all the time.
“I was thinking of staying, Liam,” I said in a small voice. I didn’t lift my head. I kept my face in his chest. “In Everly Heath. I’m thinking of staying.”
Liam stilled.
“You—” Liam stuttered. “You want to stay. Here.”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while now. I spoke to Willa about it, and she didn’t die of shock. She seemed to think it was a good idea, actually. I’m still worried about Mum. She’s going to think I’ve gone mad. She’ll try to convince me out of it; I know she will. She knows I’m here. Willa accidentally told her last week, so I’m waiting for the other shoe to drop.” Liam’s hand moved over my back in circles. “After what Brian told me—” Anger and indignation rose in my chest, burning bright.
Liam’s other hand came up to my hair. He kissed the top of my head.
“But I’m scared, Liam. Really scared. I know it doesn’t seem like much, but this is big for me. Moving up here after just a couple of months. I’m scared I’ll turn into my dad and bolt, and I don’t want to hurt you.”
Liam’s voice was hoarse. “Okay, okay.”
“What if I fuck all of this up? What if I move up here and then change my mind? What if I throw away a good job, working with my best friend every day for some pipe dream of building something myself?” My voice grew high-pitched.
“Okay.” Liam’s voice was calm and solid, his hand still moving against my lower back. His heartbeat had sped up, just a bit. “You’re being brave, Red. I’m proud of you. But all of this is a lot to process. For anyone. So don’t make any decisions yet.”
My heart sank. He didn’t want me to stay.
