Page 42 of Forgotten Vows
Shehadcome back to me. I was the one she ran to when she needed help. And while it would take more time for me to truly win her back and convince her that we could make this last between us this round, I was prepared to stay steady to the course and not give up.
I stroked my hand over her back, caressing her lazily as I brainstormed how long it might be before she truly forgave me for all the forgotten vows we’d unofficially shared years ago.
18
RAISA
Many details remained to be addressed. Specifics about why I was here, what the Dubinins could do for me and Lev had to be figured out. More than anything, proper investigations into what the Rivera Family was up to would need to be completed.
In the meantime, in this state of limbo, Lev and I were granted permission to stay as guests. Luka Dubinin’s mansion was large enough for plenty of visitors, but it was hard to see this behemoth of a home as anything other than a temporary shelter. A fancy one, and a thoroughly secure one with the numerous Dubinin guards posted all over.
But it wasn’t a home. It wasn’t a real place to commit to, much like all the other locations I’d moved me and Lev to over the years. I’d be a liar if I admitted to missing the small house that Lev and I had left behind outside Paris. But I’d be admitting a bigger falsehood if I confessed to a desire to stay here for long.
Where would Lev and I go next?
Our stay would expire here eventually. I imagined that once Ivan and his family rooted out the source of trouble, they would ask me to leave.
And there was nothing lined up for me and my son after this. I’d spent the last of my emergency savings just to fly to New York and get here. Sure, my expenses were zero now. I didn’t have to ask for anything, provided with food, shelter, and clothing for both me and Lev. Reminding myself that this was temporary was the only way I could keep myself rooted in a reality check.
It is what it is.
I knew that in coming here, I’d be stuck here for a while.
But what will be next?
Living here for the moment was a surreal experience. Ivan told me and Lev that he had his own house, yet, he stayed here as a long-term guest as well. Many discussions had to be going on behind closed doors, and each time Ivan was away, I had to assume he was reporting in to Luka. He was the Boss, after all.
For the next week, I did my best to get used to being near him. To having him near Lev. The security here was top-notch. Inside this house, I didn’t have to worry about anyone breaking in. Still, I remained far too skeptical to trust Ivan on a personal level. That was twice now that we’d caved to desire. We blurred the lines between us by having sex. I couldn’t begin to guess if it was messing with his head at all like it was mine, but I prayed that refraining from being alone with him was the wisest course of action I could follow.
Lev enjoyed the “vacation” of being here and getting to know the father I’d had to hide from him for so long. My explanation of Ivan being a powerful and influential man likely didn’t smooth out my son’s anger that I hadn’t told him about Ivan earlier, but I could only focus on one step at a time, one fight at a time.
I stayed close to Lev, watching in the background as he played with Misha or spent time with Ivan. Not once did anyone try to separate me from my son. We still shared the same room among other guest rooms, all of them empty at the moment.
And in my watchful moments of keeping an eye on Lev as I awaited direction or answers from Ivan about what the Dubinins could do to keep Lev safe from any other crime family, I was well aware of the fact that Luka didn’t trust me.
He didn’t order me to report to him. He didn’t speak to me directly. He was a busy leader, perhaps too important to deal with a headache like me and Lev. Gabriella had just given him a baby boy, so both of them were preoccupied. It was when I read between the lines that I grew more convinced that Luka didn’t want me here. His stern looks weren’t promising either.
While Ivan colored with Lev in the garden one afternoon, I sat back at a wrought-iron table on the other side of the wide and open-air outdoor space.
Emil joined me. Alexsei strode up behind him, seeming to have the same intention of spending time with me.
“The last time I saw you, I was officiating your wedding,” Emil said with a cocky smile.
I rolled my eyes, determined not to smile at this jokester. He was too laidback, like the world was his and nothing was out of reach or safe from his rebellious nature. Between his rugged looks and smirking expression, I had no trouble placing him from before. Like before, when he partied a bit with me and Ivan in Europe when I dropped out of my studies to spend all my time with Ivan, he carried the same devil-may-care aura and attitude now.
“Officiating an unofficial wedding,” I confirmed.
“So you’re the reason my cousin’s been a miserable mess for so many years.”
That won’t win me over.I was too jaded to take his word for that.
“Wedding?” Alexsei asked. I spent more time around him here, and with him being on standby as Misha’s father, I was more used to seeing this cousin. “You and Ivan actually?—”
I shook my head. “No. No. We were just goofing around and pretended to get married. Byhismade-up authority to officiate.” I gestured at Emil, who smiled wider and shrugged.
“Huh.” Alexsei glanced at Lev and Ivan still coloring and laughing at something. “Could have fooled me. He acted like he’d lost his spouse all this time.”
Yeah, that’s still not going to work. He walked away from me, and he still hasn’t explained why.
