Page 10 of Forgotten Vows
Dreaming of an air-conditioner in this basement level wouldn’t fix anything.
Nor would trying to get another job. One of the “perks” about working here was that I was paid under the table. Everything was low-key and not completely legit. The fewer ways that existed for me to be found and tracked, the better.
Staying off the radar like this convinced me I was living like a criminal or a fugitive on the run. I wasn’t. I’d never done anything wrong. My “crime” was to love—fiercely and with all my heart. And this was the price I had to pay.
“See you soon.” My coworker flipped a switch on a washer to let it cycle down and have a break. It was for that reason—needing to baby the machinery so it wouldn’t all crash and break down from overuse—that we humans were allotted a mid-day break as well. European countries were kinder to grant leaves and breaks. Unlike what I noticed in America, it wasn’t uncommon for longer breaks in the afternoon.
The other woman grabbed her purse off the hook on the wall and exited without waiting for me to reply or comment. Like me, she was too worn down from the heat and impatient for a reason to step out of this room.
“Yep,” I replied even though I was the last one out. “See ya.”
Speaking those few words took more energy than they should’ve. I didn’t like to walk home for my breaks, but today, I just couldn’t stand another second in this uniform. A dry one was waiting for me at home, hanging over a chair in my bedroom. It wouldn’t stay dry. I’d sweat through it just like this one. But it would be comfortable for a little bit, and that was something I’d prefer over this sweat-soaked dampness.
The trek back and forth from the hotel to the small house I rented wasn’t overly long. Today, it was a lengthy journey I wasn’t sure I could complete. Exhaustion set in the second I started walking. This heat wave wasn’t playing around, and several times, I had to stop and catch my breath in the shade. Under shop awnings and beneath the canopy of a tree, I’d lean against the solidest surface and wipe the sweat from my brow. Placing one foot in front of the other wasn’t so simple anymore.
No.
This was something else.
I had never beenthishot before. It was a fever, a wicked intensity of too much warmth.
Dizziness enveloped me as I fought to trudge home all while banking on returning. Overwhelmed from the physical strain, I sipped the last of the water in my bottle and heaved out a deep breath.
Almost there. Just keep going.
That was all I ever could do—plan to continue. To persevere and not give up in the face of any challenges. Because at the end of the day…
It is what it is.
So stuck on reaching the house, I felt exposed and vulnerable not to scan my surroundings. I wouldn’t ever willingly lower my guard, but as I walked on, I was lax in obsessively scoping out the area. All I could do was stare ahead and keep my eye on the goal.
At last, I staggered to the front door. It was strange to be here without Lev, but I didn’t plan to linger for long.
“Thank God that you are nice and cool at school,” I mumbled as I entered the house. Lev’s school buildings weren’t overly air-conditioned, but they were cooler with fans and updated amenities.
Inside, I didn’t waste time to strip out of my dirty uniform, take a quick, icy shower, then get dressed in my last uniform. Losing the confinement of clothing was heavenly. Embracing the cold spray of water was refreshing.
But when I pulled on my dry uniform, I was struck with a deep, nasty sense of unease.
A sixth sense was triggered.
Something had me jerky and tense. It came out of nowhere, this intense fear and dread that I couldn’t ignore or shake off.
Going still, I tugged my shirt on and scanned my room. Then, still unable to dispel this anxiety, I crept to the window and looked out.
Is someone watching me?
This wasn’t the first time I’d wondered that very thing. Earlier, when I reached my place of employment, this prickle of awareness had bothered me. It came when I was walking into the hotel to report to work, just after dropping off Lev at school.
With the hurry to clock in on time, I was distracted. It made it easier for that conviction to sink in and grab hold of me. But as I fell into the routine of working and being busy with my hands, those fears faded. No one showed up to see me. I was safe inside the walls of the basement.
No surprises popped up.
No threats appeared.
But now, alone in this small house, I was choked by that same freakish feeling.
My skin rose in goosebumps despite the heat. My lungs and heart reacted, working harder and faster like I’d just run a marathon.
