Page 42 of Power Move
As soon as her walls came down, they went back up. I changed the subject.
“So, is she mean about you being… you know… gay?”
“I’m not gay!” Eva laughed. “I’m pan. I fall in love with people. I lust afterpeople. While I may tend to be more homoromantic, I swing both ways. Originally, my sister was supportive. She liked Mona—Ian didn’t—but she didn’t want to be rude to her. So, she put up with it. But this? This is different. This is me refusing to marry the dude who knocked me up unapologetically and choosing to raise a kid on my own. That won’t fly without commentary.”
“But, Eva, you won’t raise this baby on your own. And, if you wanted?—”
“Please, God, do not say to get married! Stop!”
“I wasn’t saying that,” I laughed. “I wanted to say if you wanted me there to tell them, I will suffer through it. I can take the heat and the rage. Promise.”
“I don’t,” Eva said. “It’s too confusing for them. And I’d like to keep who the father is secret for a bit, because I don’t want your personal wealth changing how they respond.”
“Really?”
“Yes, really,” Eva answered. “I dunno. I don’t want the takeaway to be that I’m with a dude whose family is basically American royalty and now my kid is somehow born into it. Davey, it’s fucking weird for me.”
“Why? Why isn’t that good?”
“Because I don’t know! I don’t want to feel weird. I worry about everyone comparingourkid to Daphne’s kid—which is impossible. We aren’t the same. I feel like my parents will do the same with ours and because she’s illegitimate, they will love Brooke’s kids more.”
The idea our kid wouldn’t be good enough wounded me.
I squeezed her hand. “I can promise you that—to us—that kid will be everything. And anyone who belittles our kid will hear about it from me.”
“You say that with conviction,” Eva said.
“Because it is true. Eva, this baby will be loved.”
“I want to believe you. I just worry it’s a shiny object and we’re going to end up in court screaming at one another like every other straight couple.”
I set my jaw and resisted anger because I hated these doubts. “Eva, I don’t know how I can prove it other than by taking the time to show you.”
“It’s not affecting you.”
“It is, though. I look at the picture of our child every morning as I get ready for work. Somedays, I hate work with a burning passion just like anyone does, but I show up because it matters to our family.” I squeezed her hand tighter. “And you are part of it now.”
Eva shook her head and pulled her hand back, shrinking away from me.
“Eva, say something,” I pleaded.
“I have my concerns. I will try to set them aside and give you—and your family—the benefit of the doubt.”
“Thanks.”
She turned back, face and voice softer. “I am trying. But the parents? It frightens me.”
“I know, but we can only put it off so long,” I said. “After all, you’re going to see too much of my family at the retreat in two weeks.”
“What a disaster,” Eva said.
It was. I also realized it gave me an opportunity to show her my family wasn’t a load of classist assholes who would hate her. She trusted Daphne. She’d trust me eventually. The challenge would be resisting touching her. Because, right now, all I wanted to do was pull her tired body into my arms and hold her close. I wanted to see her happy and safe. If she was secure, so would be our baby.
Eva
“Is that a horse pasture?” Davey pointed down my parents’ drive.
“Yes. We’ve still got a few. Bubba is a rescue. Maggie is my dad’s mare. Poco is my old man,” I said. “I used to show quarter horse circuit, but Poco is now in his thirties and only goes out on the trails.”
