Page 21 of Power Move
“No, definitely not!” I laughed. “No. It’s notbadper-se, but, it’s not good.”
“What then?”
“I have… a situation… one that will abate in like thirty-five weeks.”
“Are you on a contract at this job?”
“No.”
I watched Ellie think through it.
“Oh my God. Shit! Did you get… what? How? Was it Mystery Davey?”
Not-so-mystery-Davey.
“Yeah, it was him because it couldn’t be anyone else. The thing broke. I took Plan B, but my doctor gave me a lecture about being over 150-lbs and it not working as well or something.”
“Oh, shit. Eva, I am so sorry… I mean if I should be sorry? I know this is complicated for you, babes.”
“It is, but I want to go through with it. There was no doubt. I know I shouldn’t. I will probably have to leave my job, but I can save up and take some time off and?—”
“Eva, you need to tell Mystery Davey the truth.”
“Are we calling him that now?”
“What else can we call him?”
I grimaced. “Literally anythingbutMystery Davey, yeah?”
“Well, whatever we call him, he will want to be there. He’d want to know.”
“I really don’t think he will. I think it’s best if I do this on my own. I can support a kid and raise it by myself.”
“It’s hard to be a single mom, Eva. Custody is hard. Figuring it out now—planning how to coparent is important.”
“I never wanted to see him again?—”
“Think of it from his perspective, Eva. He will have achildout in the world. You cannot just ignore him for eighteen years.Your kid will ask questions. He doesn’t have to be in your life more than weekends—and only after the baby is old enough—but you gotta tell him.”
“What if he wants nothing to do with it? I suspect he’ll just tell me he’ll pay to terminate it. And I don’t want that,” I said. “That’s not where I’m at.”
“Then, he can be an asshole who terminates his parental rights, and you won’t put him on the birth certificate, but at least give him that chance. Jane’s dad and I weren’t perfect, but he is a good father. And I like having him there, okay? It took work and a lot of expensive lawyers, but you have months to figure this out. Make him pay for your medical bills and to deal with baby shit. Have you told your parents?”
“You are the only one who knows,” I said. “And I need to keep it that way. I worry they will be angry with me.”
“Thank God your dress is stretchy. You’ll need it. You’ll be what… 16 weeks? You’ll definitely be showing.”
“Shit, I’m sorry!”
“Don’t apologize. If we need to alter it, we will. Don’t worry about that. Take care of you and this baby. You’re the maid of honor. We can buy you a completely different dress if we must. You’re allow to stand out.”
I smiled. “I am excited to stand up for you—even if I cannot get blitzed.”
“It will still be epic. And when she’s born, you can show her pictures of the day and say, ‘Look, you were in mommy’s tummy when Aunt Ellie got married.’ You’ll see.”
I grinned, tearing. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Ellie.”
I closed my door every morning to avoid sharing the sound of retching with my coworkers and sat close to the bathroom on the train. I ate dehydrated fruit because it was the only thingkeeping me alive on my commute. But at nearly seven weeks pregnant, I felt awful. I’d taken to sleeping on the small couch in my office if I got a lunch break. Food sounded awful anyhow.
