Page 10 of Midwinter Wiles & Valerian Dreams
Two days of scurrying through the forest like a wretched beast, my heart jumping at every sound that could be huntsmen tracking me or wild animals ready to devour me, and this is the first chance I’ve had to see myself. I stare in abject horror at the image in the reflecting pond.
That is me, right? I lift a hand, and the woman in the water mirrors my movement.
I gawk.
“Lumi,whatdid youdoto me?”
“You’re disguised!” the small moon informs me.
“Not like this! I look like…I look…Did you turn me into a Wilder Fae?”
“Well, not truly, of course. But by appearance—”
“Fix it!”
Lumi only hovers slightly higher, obviously as disgusted by my new look as I am.
“Lumi, I need out of this Deep-forsaken forest, and I cannotbe seen in public like this! Like…like…one ofthem.”
“That’s the point, Valkie. You won’t be seen.”
“Of course I will! I need to find food, shelter, help. You just said something about a town. People are going to see me.”
“No,” Lumi insists, “they won’t see you. They’ll see a Wilder Fae.”
“Exactly! I am not walking around looking like a Wild One. It’s bad enough I’m dirty and scratched up. Turn me back!”
Lumi tuts. “No.”
“Lumi, turn me back! Now!”
“No. The fact that it is so distasteful to you is what makes it a perfect disguise. Lumi knows.” The sliver of waning crescent moon that she’s been holding to provide me light without drawing too much attention slides to nothing, leaving me in the dark forest.
She’s never fought me on anything before, never spoken back to me in all our time together, and I don’t know what to make of it. I’m speechless. She can’t seriously think I would be okay with looking like a Wild One. I know the Wilder Fae don’t like that term, but I’ve never felt it more appropriate than right now.
My beautiful brown skin is at least three shades too pale to be considered pretty at Court. My eyes, usually a vibrant aubergine, are now the plain blue of sapphires. So dull. My hair—my shimmering white hair—is now the deep blue of the midnight sky, glittering with tiny stars. And my ears…
“At least give me higher points on my ears. I can’t stand these sad low points. They don’t even poke through anymore, Lumi! I thought you were just going to change my hair color and my clothes. Not…all of this!”
“Listen, little snowdrop. All the Queen’s huntsmen search for you. Since their prejudice matches your own, they’ll be looking for a Point Fae in disguise.”
I scoff a little at that. I’m not prejudiced. I don’t…I just…I’m not one of them, that’s all!
“They’ll never think to look for a Wilder Fae.”
“Of course not,” I huff. “Why would anyone choose this?”
Lumi circles me once, somehow making it feel disapproving. “You do know that over a third of fae in all of Havansarr are Wilder Fae, don’t you? Many are your citizens in the Hinterlands.”
“Yes, of course I know that. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with them. I just…I can’t be one, okay? I know nothing about them!”
“Because you don’t notice what is around you, not because you cannot see it, but because you’ve been taught to look away. Perhaps now is a good time to change that,” Lumi says sweetly.
“I’m not—it’s not a choice, okay? It’s not on purpose. But they’re not like us; they’re not my people.”
“Aren’t they? They are of the Hinterlands.”
The question hangs between us, and for the first time since I was a child, I’m uncertain about the division between our kinds.
