Page 109 of Midwinter Wiles & Valerian Dreams
“Why?” Louder. Grumpier.
“Well…it felt like the only way.” More stilted breaths, then a chair scrapes closer. “When my husband died, I buried everything else along with him. That day…it broke me. I couldn’t be drowning in grief while there was a land to protect and rule. And I didn’t know what to do with a grieving girl who reminded me of him every moment. I never expected to be left alone with her.”
“You didn’t want her?” Aili’s question is so frank, yet so honest, it kind of breaks my heart.
Taynia’s response cracks it open. “I loved Talvie like she was my own. I—I still do.”
My stomach leaps in a way I’m not proud to admit, but her words hit deep. Craving her approval is a tough habit to break, even after all the time I spent telling myself I didn’t need her. It turns out I never managed to turn off the hope and bury it under false hate.
“This is hard,” Taynia murmurs. “I expected the regret, but not this much pain.”
Aili’s hand leaves my leg, and I miss it immediately. But then, I make out the soft sound of patting.Oh my sweet waters, is my adorable little grump patting the Ice Queen’s arm? My heart explodes inside me.
More pats. Swishing fabric. A soft, “Oh.”
“Lumi? Lumi…is Aili hugging her?”
“That appears accurate, yes.”
Storms. My heart.
Aili’s not so different from Taynia, at the core. It’s hitting me like rolling thunder how much I love her and the other kids. I can’t leave them now when they need me most!
“Lumi, how long until the CPS hearing?”
“The sun has risen, but there’s still time.”
The twins’ voices herald their return, along with the soft click of the door being closed by gentle Mika. Katja is next to return with a flutter, and finally the rest, coming in with triumphant shouts from Helkki about her gremlin-wrangling prowess.
“Beron, you cried?” Taynia asks with amused disbelief.
“No.” He’s extra gruff. “My eye leaked for a moment. That’s all.”
The kids’ giggles are a balm to my aching soul. Ineedto wake up.
Soon, the scent of moonflower and lavender stirs, followed by the honeyed tang of something sun-warmed and strange. A slow bubbling sound seeps through the haze in my mind.
“They are brewing the counterspell,” Lumi informs me. “Beron is stirring while Lark adds ingredients. Helkki keeps telling them to add sugar.”
Her voice is a brush of light against the dark. If I could move, I’d be pacing.
Brew faster, I want to yell. I need Lark to take the potion and free me from this terrible prison.
“The potion glows like frostbitten flames,” the moon tells me after an age passes. “Lark adds the Valerian root now. Lucky we had so much on hand.”
“I’d feel luckier if I were awake.”
“Patience, snowdrop,” Lumi says, her voice tinkling like a moonlit stream, calming the anxiety knotted in my throat.
Footsteps. Low voices. The creak of a door.
Finally, Taynia’s voice is cool and controlled when she says, “It’s ready.”
Silence stretches through the cottage. It lingers like dense fog, settling.
Stifling.
It goes on so long, I’m about to ask Lumi what’s happening again.
