Page 44 of Hunted By Wolves and Shadow
Before I knew I was moving, I rushed over.Blue skies, was he dead?
But no, his eyes fluttered at the sound of my voice. They rolled up toward the door, and I rushed across the space to his side. “Wolf, what happened?"
“Emi?”
My name was a jolt to the heart. He called me Emi.
Not Emerald.
Not witchling or kitten or any other annoying thing.
And why did it have to sound oddly hopeful? Given his condition, it was amazing he knew me at all. “Who did this to you?”
He moaned. “Fen…he didn't mean…”
Fenrir. The half-mad fenriswulf. “But why are you here?”
He was gravely injured, so why didn’t he return to the enclave he’d told me about? Why didn't he go to his family for help?
“Couldn't die there.” His eyes pinched tight. I could barely hear his whisper. “Too much death…already.”
I couldn’t help it. My heart broke for the people he clearly cared for deeply, but why would he choose this place? As far as he knew, I wanted to kill him. I might still. I really hadn’t decided yet. The fenriswulf seemed to have done most of the job for me already.
“So you came here?”
“I had nowhere else to go.” He huffed, then winced in pain. “I wanted to die as a man, not a monster, but I…couldn’t…do that to them. They've lost…too many.” His face drew tight from the effort of so many words.
“Sorry, witchling,” he whispered on a moan. “I know you wanted to be the one. At least you can still…finish me off. But you'll…be doing me a favor.” I swear, he tried to grin. His eyes closed and didn't look like they’d be opening again. His skin was grey and ashen, his heartbeat ever so slow when I felt for it at the exposed side of his neck. The hand resting on his chest fell to his side with a gentle thud, and I didn't think. I just acted.
“Sunbeams, this is stupid.” Nevertheless, I reached for him and felt for my magic. I had no idea how to do this, but I had to try. Really, I should take his permission to end his life. It's what I wanted, right? He said it would be a mercy. I'd be helping.
But it didn't seem right to kill a man who was already dying. I trained all that time with Juliet so I could fight him. I prepared myself for the difficulty of it, physically and emotionally. He was supposed to fight back, just as fiercely and with just as much conviction as me. “You are not robbing me of my revenge, you furry menace!” I gritted my teeth.
I’d heal him first, if I could, then decide what to do. A defeat in fair combat was the honourable thing, not just letting him die like this. Besides, I had these new powers resting in my hands. This was a perfect opportunity to learn to use them. If I failed, I would be getting what I’d wanted anyway.
Except the thought of failing brought a sharp stab to my heart. I shouldn't, but I wanted those quicksilver eyes to open and look at me one more time. Challenge me again. Flash with mirth while he called me something annoying and shot me that roguish grin that showed just a little too much teeth.
He was the enemy, except I wanted him to stand tall before me and face me as he was meant to.
He’d probably say something arrogant and annoying. Maybe he’d use that aggravating smirk on me.
Moving the bloody blanket from his neck drew a weak moan from the helpless man. My own gasp joined it when I saw the devastation.
The wound was huge. Torn flesh, stained red and crusted with dried blood was all that was left of the side of his neck. Gashes split the skin so close to his jugular it bore disbelief that he hadn’t died instantly. But the wreckage below was even worse. It looked like the fenriswulf had tried to rip out his throat but Wolf had turned just enough that teeth had torn open his neck where it met his shoulder instead. Thick blood pooled there, hiding the depth of the trauma from my sight. If I did nothing, what little time Wolf had left would be spent in sickening agony. Panic sent my heart wheeling hard into my ribs.
Watery blood seeped around the edges of the gashes that had torn through muscle and sinew. The flesh beside it was red and hot, telling me this had happened a while ago. How hard must it have been to choose dying alone to spare his family? No one should die alone.
“I’m here, Wolf. Hold on.”
Hesitantly, I laid my hands on his chest, uncomfortably aware of the other time I’d felt the firm muscles there beneath my palms. Shoving the errant thought aside, I tried to sense the extent of his injuries so I could direct my magic where it was needed most. There was blood on the far side of his shirt, away from the neck wound, and I found another injury to his ribs. Four deep lacerations looked like giant claws had gouged him. A little lower, and he would have been eviscerated on the spot.
Hot fear prickled through me, heating my skin. He could have been dead already. If I’d returned any later, it would have been to find a dead man on Grandma’s couch. How often had I pictured that very thing? And why did it fill me with so much dread now? Wolf had been lying here in pain, waiting for death all alone, while I’d dilly-dallied about secrets my family had kept and whether I still wanted to kill him. A band tightened around my chest and wool clogged my throat.
I didn’t want to be that person anymore. I was tired of hurting and overthinking and questioning my every move. I wanted to be more than Emi from Baines who cooks and cleans and makes herself small so other people aren’t inconvenienced. I wanted truth. I wanted to be inconvenient, take up space, reveal secrets, and stand on my own. I wanted to feel like I belonged and be proud of the person I was. No more waiting. No more second guessing every thought.
“I’ve got you,” I murmured, hoping I could deliver on that promise. I was not going to think too carefully about why the hope burned so fervently in my pounding heart.
With one hand over his ribs and one close to his shredded shoulder, I closed my eyes and reached down into myself. Power bubbled and boiled to the surface. I tugged, feeling the tingling stretch of my skin as my body warmed. Focusing on the man beneath my hands, I forced the healing magic in me to move toward him. “Work, please, work.”
