Page 38 of Hunted By Wolves and Shadow
Juliet cleared her throat. “How dare he try to take care of you? Or how dare he not tell you that’s what he was doing? And who is this mysterioushe?” She looked far too amused for my liking.
Deciding sword lessons were over, I hung my blade on the rack beside her training area. Sharp edges were a poor match for my current mood. Shaking out my trembling arms, I took a few deep breaths.
“Have you ever wanted to kill someone? I mean,reallywanted to kill them?”
“Several times,” Juliet confirmed, hanging her own blade and leaning against the rack. “My stepfather and stepbrothers on a regular basis, particularly after my mother passed.”
“Oh, they’re why you left Anterra?” In all my turmoil, I’d only thought of myself again. Of course, Juliet had a great reason to hate the men who’d forced her from her home.
“Fled, more like. But yes. And more recently, Locke has made his way rather high up my short list, along with Their Royal High-asses, the Mont’Ague especially, but tell me about this mystery man you want to kill.”
“Why do you hate Locke?” I asked instead. “I got the sense something was off between you two. Sorry, you don’t have to tell me. I’m being nosy.”
“Relax, Emi. You’re not half as much trouble as you seem to think you are, and we’re friends, right?”
“We are?”
“I think so.” Juliet gave me a warm smile. “You don’t?”
“No, I—I mean, yes. It’s—sorry, I’ve never really had a friend before.” I hadn’t meant to admit that, but once it was out, it didn’t feel as bad as I thought it would, especially when Juliet crossed the space to hug me. I couldn’t remember the last time someone hugged me, unless I counted the times Wolf had his arms around me while we trained or that one time he held me while I cried. And I definitely didn’t count those, no matter what warm, safe feelings they had raised.
“Give yourself more credit, Emi. Forget those people who could have had you as a friend and were too short-sighted to see your worth. Focus on the ones who see you.”
“Like Locke does you?”
She frowned. “He doesn’t have friends. He’s made that abundantly clear.”
“Can I ask what happened?”
Pain flashed across Juliet’s face, there and gone with a squaring of her shoulders. “He killed someone I loved very much.”
Shock punched through me. “Hewhat? And you haven’t killed him?” I’d watched her and Locke spar once before he left. I’d seen her abilities every evening she’d spent training me. If she wanted Locke dead, he would be.
“I wanted to at first, but he didn’t do it without reason.”
“I can’t imagine forgiving something like that.” Grandma’s face floated up, stern as she sent me out to gather herbs for her. I’d loved her. I had. And I thought she’d loved me too, but all the secrets coming out had me doubting even that.
“There’s always another side to the story,” Juliet hedged.
I’d thought it simple, but she was right. Locke may have had his reasons, as Wolf had had his.
My side wasn’t the only one. I just hadn’t been willing to see the other. I could no longer discount Wolf’s stories of the people he called family. I could see his side, I just didn’t like what it showed me.
Now that I’d heard Juliet’s account of the Mist, and with the separation of another world to see how people should be living free from the oppressive weight of semi-darkness, I could see how a person would be desperate to end it. Anterra should have sunshine like Zocere. We should be able to grow crops like they did here and feed our families and have hope again. We should all be free, and that included the innocent people for whom Wolf fought.
If Grandma Ruby was really the Ruby Witch and had cast such an awful curse, and if Wolf truly thought he could break it by killing her—then did that change how I felt? I wasn’t sure.
I liked to think I would have found another way if I’d been in Wolf’s position, but he’d told me of everything they’d tried before. They’d lost people to their efforts. They’d been trapped for annums and annums, long enough to have tried more than I could possibly think of. If I believed nothing else, I’d seen the honest hurt Wolf felt when he spoke over meals of the friendsand brothers they’d lost to the madness. The people he cared for had lost all memories of anything they’d loved before, and then lost even more.
My legs went weak.
A vision of silver eyes through the Mist sent a deep ache through my chest. Even as Wolf became the very monster I’d vowed to kill, he’d seemed to know me for a heartbeat. It had been long enough for me to flee. And Juliet claimed he’d been teaching me to protect myself. Why would he have done that? It shouldn’t matter, but it did.
Yet if I stopped blaming him, who did I blame? Was Grandma Ruby responsible for her own death?
Why had no one ever told me any of this? My mother had left us rather than be there to tell me the family secrets. Grandma had seen me every moon and never warned me. And Jade…did she know? Was my sister a witch?
My head spun.
