Page 9 of Curvy Alpha Bride
“Okay, then,” Lexa sighs, standing up. “We’ll text you later.”
“Sure,” I reply, waving. “Have a good time.”
I wait to hear their footsteps disappear down the hall and the front door slam behind them before I roll over and scream into the pillow. Tears threaten the edges of my eyes, but they don’t streak down my cheeks.
I did so much crying that first week, I’m amazed I have any tears left.
I know I should have told my friends what happened between me and Xavier, but after they encouraged me to go for it, I just couldn’t. Neither of them meant for this to happen, but part of my heart feels betrayed.
I was so afraid to put myself out there, but I opened up to him… and he didn’t just blow me off, he fucking left town!
I heard about Xavier becoming alpha of Valentine Creek, of course. The news was all over the Range. Peace between the packs, and changes are being made.
All for the good, right?
But a hot tear does slide down my cheek. Xavier being made alpha in a different pack is no excuse for what he didto me. Even if he had to leave town, he could have explained himself, or promised to keep in touch and follow up later… or even taken me with him.
And when I found him, he was packing his car and getting ready to leave. If I hadn’t shown up, would he have even told me he was going? Was he just going to fucking ghost me and wait for me to find out at the next council meeting?
The idea sends chills through my guts, so painful that I actually feel sick. Putting myself out there for Xavier was the hardest thing I’ve ever done, and when he rejected me, it was literally my worst fear come true.
I wrap my arms around myself and close my eyes, trying to settle the twist in my guts and the fluttery feeling in my chest. I feel like I can’t breathe, like I’m in a prison cell that gets smaller by the day, almost ready to crush me.
I can’t ever do it again. I can’t trust anyone.
I’ve had these thoughts so many times, and they always run back-to-back with my fierce, encompassing loneliness. Every night alone adds another stone of dread to the scale—the scale that constantly swings between the risk of meeting someone to cure the loneliness, and the terror of being rejected again if I do.
Down on the floor, my phone buzzes softly.
Probably just Cass.
I think about crispy, juicy buffalo wings washed down with sweet, rich bourbon, and for a moment, I’m tempted. Getting a bit wasted and filled up on junk food suddenly appeals to me, but when I think about the act of getting ready to go out, the idea suddenly loses its luster.
And being in a big crowd? No way. What if I get weepy again? I easily could if I were up to my forehead in rotgut. Safer to stay home.
Now I’m firmly and completely between a rock and a hard place. I don’t want to stay home—but I can’t go out, either.
My phone buzzes again, and I sigh, rolling over to look for it. I know it’s probably just Cass being annoying, but I should check just in case it’s important.
You never know. Maybe there’s been some kind of emergency that will distract me from all of this.
When I finally bring my phone up to my face, I see a couple of messages from Cass. One picture shows her with a giant buffalo wing in her mouth while Lexa guzzles a massive shot next to her.
Even though the crowd looks terrifying, those wings do look good.
I flick open the browser, wondering if I can get a delivery. I’ve barely flicked into the first site when a pink banner blinks at the top of the page.
Porter’s brides for hire! Need a new direction? Opportunities are available!
A groan actually rumbles through my chest as I roll my eyes.
I can’t believe anyone actually falls for this crap.
Still, I’m mesmerized by the blinking banner. My finger hovers over the screen. Even though I’m a full skeptic, I’m also curious.
How does she get people to agree to this? It’s completely nuts.
With a sigh, I tap the banner, and the page opens. I scroll down a bit and see the benefits package is substantial. Also, there are opt-out clauses, but only after a certain length of time, depending on the client’s needs.
