Page 33 of Curvy Alpha Bride
“What are you looking at?” I ask softly.
He shakes his head. “Nothing.”
“Well, obviously. You can’t see a damn thing in that darkness, even with wolf eyes.”
“It’s just… no, never mind.”
“Just what?”
“We’re so far away from civilization out here, there’s no ambient light. That’s why it seems so dark.”
I’m pretty sure that’s not what he was going to say.
“Anyway, in spite of all that, you seemed to enjoy yourself today,” he says.
“Yeah, I did. It’s nice to be treated like a princess. I didn’t expect the position to come with this much veneration.”
“Well, I don’t know about that. It seems more like worship.”
I chuckle so hard I have to put my mug down or risk spilling it. “C’mon. As if.”
“Totally,” Xavier laughs, giving me a nudge. “It’s what you deserve.”
“I’ll give you what you deserve!” I giggle, holding up my hands with my fingers wiggling.
He yelps and slithers away, but I reach out and dig my fingers into his ribs before he can get off the couch.
Xavier shrieks with laughter, still trying to wriggle out of reach, and I launch myself at him, pinning him down and pinching him around the waist. He twists under me, howling with a combination of mirth and consternation.
It’s okay to let my guard down. He knows I won’t stay, and we’re just having a bit of fun—
Through my fuzzy, drunken thoughts, a sense of familiarity cuts through, bringing up a wave of loss.
This is what it was like between us, for years. Everything was so easy. Then we slept together, and I thought it would be like this forever—
The memory of standing on his front lawn while he drove away without looking back slams into me, knocking all the humor from my mind. All the joy is replaced by pain, and I jump back, getting off him in one swift move.
I want this to be real. Oh, God, how I want this to be real!
“Are you okay?” he asks, and I have to look away and squeeze my eyes shut to hide my tears.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” I mutter, ashamed that my voice is coming out soft and trembly.
All this time, I thought I was over this, but I’m still attached to him.
Through my shock and fear, a little wave of nausea rolls through me, the result of a hefty dose of self-hatred.
“Are you sure you’re okay?” Xavier asks, looking concerned. “You look sick.”
“I’m okay,” I say quickly, putting up a hand to push him away. “Just a bit overheated from the brandy. I’m going to… go take a bath.”
Without looking at Xavier, I get up and practically flee from the room. I slam the bathroom door behind me and stand with my back pressed against it, gasping for air.
I’m not safe here, and it has nothing to do with freaky feelings coming from the mountain. This is probably just my mind, trying to protect me from these hidden emotions.
As I get my breath back, I go over to the bathtub and start the water. It’s a huge, old-fashioned tub, and thankfully, whoever built this cabin made sure it had full plumbing.
I slip under the warm, frothy bubbles while the tub fills up, feeling my tight muscles begin to uncoil. Stretching out, a sigh escapes my lips as my whole body relaxes, and I realize how wound up I was.
