Page 22 of Curvy Alpha Bride
“I’ll sleep in the living room,” I say, sidestepping in that direction. “The couch is fine, and it’s right next to the fire. Honestly, I don’t care if I have to sleep on the fucking floor. I’m not sharing a bed with you.”
“It’s important for us to look like a genuine couple,” Xavier protests. “You’ve really got to try a bit harder.”
“What was that about people snooping, looking through windows?” I ask. “If Iris isn’t going to be doing it, I’m sure the townsfolk won’t be, either.”
“I don’t know,” he mutters. “They are pretty weird. All of them have the ability to sneak up on me, and their behavior is strange as fuck sometimes.”
I want to brush this off as one of his ridiculous quips, but I can tell it isn’t.
One more uncomfortable subject I’d rather not attack today.
“Look, I’m going to the couch,” I say with determination. “If someone peeks through the window, I’ll make an excuse. Goodnight, Xavier.”
“Please, be reasonable!” he snaps. “The bed is huge, plenty of room for both of us. We won’t even touch, I promise you. The couch is really narrow and lumpy; you won’t find it very comfortable. I’m betting you need a really decent sleep.”
“I do,” I answer, eyeing the bed. It is massive, with a very thick mattress and a stack of blankets that look handmade.
Of course they are. Everything here is.
“I won’t invade your space,” Xavier promises. “I completely understand.”
I can tell by the look on his face, he really doesn’t. But he’s trying to, and that counts for something.
“Okay,” I answer, gritting my teeth a little. “If you promise to respect my boundaries, then I can share the bed with you. But one screw-up, and I’m out of here, got it?”
“Understood,” he says, looking relieved. “I’m glad we worked this out.”
“Yeah, me too,” I answer, backing away. “I’m going to the bathroom.”
I turn away from him and slam the bathroom door shut behind me, staying pressed against it as if I have to barricade it to feel safe. I’m trembling, gasping for air, and I don’t even know if I’m scared or excited. After a few minutes, when I feel the heatin my body, I realize which one it is, and I know why I’m so terrified to spend the night beside him.
Wiping tears of frustration from my cheeks, I go to the mirror and splash some cold water on my face, feeling like I should probably dunk my entire body in ice.
I feel a bit lost without my things, but I don’t want to go and get them out of the car myself, and I don’t want to ask Xavier to do it, so I just tidy my hair with my fingers and rinse my mouth out, staring into my own gray eyes as if I barely recognize the girl in the mirror.
It’s okay. You can do this. Just one week, and you can go home like this never even happened.
Of all the lies I’ve ever told myself, I think that might be the worst and the most ridiculous. Even if the contract can be resolved, both of us are forever changed now, and there’s no going back to who we were.
So maybe we can be something new. I’ll never trust him again, but we could learn to get along like we used to, without any physical intimacy.
As I leave the bathroom, I know that one is a lie, too, but it’s one I desperately need right now. When I get to the bedroom, the lights are dim, and Xavier is curled up on one side of the bed.
It is a big bed. Almost takes up the entire room.
My dress is comfortable enough to wear for a night, so I just get straight in bed and curl up with my back to him. He doesn’t move as I lie down beside him. Even his breathing is very quiet, like he’s trying not to disturb me.
I can almost feel the heat from his body radiating across the space between us, setting me alight with feelings I desperately try to suppress. Xavier made me feel things no oneelse ever has, and I felt so safe to express myself; I did things I never thought I’d do.
I wriggle uncomfortably as the memories trickle through my mind. Once they start, I can’t stop them, and soon my cheeks are flushed as my breathing speeds up and heat floods my thighs and breasts.
His hands on me… and his hot mouth and slick tongue. The way I bent to his touch and served his every desire…
The last thought finally kills the arousal. The memories of being so wide-open to him, letting him into me, body and soul, then being tossed aside like a used rag, overpowers the raw sexual desire, replacing it with shame.
Now my cheeks burn hot for a different reason, and this feeling is so uncomfortable, I almost wish the lust would come back. Wrapping the blankets tightly around myself in a little cocoon, I will myself to stop trembling and relax.
Eventually, I hear Xavier’s breathing settling into a low snore. Knowing that he’s asleep relaxes me, and I let myself stretch out in the comfy bed.
