Page 38 of Shattered Heir
“Please, Ry—just—don’t tell anyone.” I put my hand on his shoulder, letting my eyes focus on him for the first time that morning..
“Emma,” he sighed in irritation.
And was there a hint of sadness there? Probably because he loved my parents, too.
“I mean it, Ry—I don’t want to celebrate it this year—not with them gone, and now after what has happened to Shad, and just—I can't celebrate right now.” I moved my hand from his shoulder, turning to take the last few steps to my bathroom. I was sure that a hot shower would calm the monster that was just starting to stir. I could feel the smoke bubbling up inside of me. If Ryker had me focus on any moredifficultthings, she certainly would rise up out of her cage.
“If that is what you really want, Em—” Ryker reached for my hand, and instead of feeling his warmth, his hand was cool to the touch. I moved away, ready to think about other things.
“Thanks—now, if you don’t mind; I need to get ready for school.” I closed the bathroom door before he could ask me another question. I didn’t want to answer or talk about any more painful things. I locked the door and breathed in and out slowly. I watched as my chest rose and fell. My back against the cool wooden door reminded me that I could still feel–something. At least I wasn’t completely numb. I tried to calm my racing heart and to tame the monster: the beast within.
Emma, I heard that whispering, lyrical voice which only echoed in my soul whenever I shared my melody with Shad. I let the feeling light my heart inside me. I let the warmth flood through me.
Emma.
Emma.
Emma.
The lyrical voice echoed inside of me and touched all of the corners of my heart, mind, and body. My soul was singing, and the beast within me retreated. After a few moments, the echo of Shad’s soul inside of mine slowed. I kept the memory of it inthe forefront of my mind, focusing on the one note inside of me which belonged to the boy whom I loved.
Shad, I love you so much,I whispered into my soul and into the quiet four walls of the bathroom. I turned the shower on with a smile and let the warmth of it flood over me.
“So, are you sure she doesn’t want anything?”
“I just asked her, Mary. She doesn’t want to think about herself right now with everything that’s been going on–and with Lamont and Ara.”
I was lingering down the hallway, listening to Mary’s and Ryker’s conversation. I didn’t want to intrude, and I wasn’t really happy listening in whenIwas the subject of their conversation.
Ishould have never left my bed, I thought. That would have been the answer to all my problems that morning.
I finally stepped out of the shadows and smiled at them both. It was fake, but I was getting better at making fake seem real.
“Good morning, Emma,” Mary smiled as I took the cup of juice she handed me. I took a small sip at the counter.
“Morning,” I said after a second, bigger gulp. I grabbed a slice from a stack of buttered toast on a white plate in the center of the kitchen island and took a bite. I watched Ryker watching me, as if I were a bird with a hole in her cage. He seemed fearful that I would soon discover that hole and become free.
“Where is Shad? I thought you were his chauffeur now.”
“Oh, I am. He's meeting me outside in a few.” Ryker finished his eggs and three pieces of toast. He then smiled at Mary. “Thanks, Mary.”.
She smiled back at him. “Anytime. Be safe today, Emma. Remember, you need to practice soul-shielding after school, so head over to Keil’s as soon as you can.”
I nodded and walked to the door.
“I can give you a ride, Em,” Ryker offered as I opened the door. There stood Shad, his hand outstretched as if he were just about to knock.
“Hey,” he said, putting his hands into his jeans’ pants’ pockets. I took him all in, from jeans to the black t-shirt he wore, and I tried to tell myself that clothing didn’t matter; clothing didn’t make a person. I caught his gaze, his black eyes on mine beneath a few strands of his untamed hair. He was still completely and totally captivating.
“Hey,” I echoed back, once I came to my senses.
Ryker cleared his throat. “Let’s get going then. We don’t want to be late, right?” He pushed the door open, and Shad moved to the side to allow him to walk through.
I just stood, frozen to the spot.
“Is something wrong?” Shad asked, and for just a moment, I imagined it was the old Shad, the real Shad I missed so much.
“Nothing,” I whispered, wondering if he heard me. I tried to tame my melody, but like always, when Shad was around, my melody could not be controlled. It was always searching for him, for his soul. My soul sang, and Shad froze. His dark, soulless eyes locked onto mine. I held his gaze, hoping those black eyes would change back to the gold ones that were seared into my memory. Shad’s one note came out in search of its owner, and that is when I saw the change. A flicker of some sort of recognition crossed Shad's face.
