Page 15 of Shattered Heir
I walked into the bathroom and stripped down. I tried to use the hot water from the shower to wash away all of the filth and grime out of my life. I tried to let it cleanse me and make me whole. I let the water fall onto my head as I collapsed to the shower floor. Quiet sobs burst out of me as I pulled my knees to my chest. I knew, though, that I would never be whole again. I remembered that only once since my parents’ deaths, had I had hope, hope in the form of a black-haired boy with golden eyes and an electric touch.
But now? Now, that boy I had once known, he is gone.
I raised fingers to my lips, replaying the kisses that we had shared, even the tainted kiss in the car, when I had a split second of renewed hope.
But there is hope, isn’t there? I questioned.
Shad told me to have hope, back when we were in the cave.
I then heard the single note of his melody, ringing inside of me, attempting to soothe my fears and doubts. I closed my eyes and tried to hold onto the knowledge that there was no way that Shad would have ever just left me alone. We loved each other; he sacrificed himself for me; he cared about me. He knew how much I needed him,didn’the?
He knows that I can’t do this alone.
Once the shower ran cold, I turned it off. In slow motion, I got out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my body. I went to my backpack and threw it and everything else inside of it into the trash can. I tied the trash bag and put it outside of my bedroom door. I sat on the lid of the toilet seat and I stared at my hands and at my feet. Although we had been in a hotel for several days and I had just been under the scalding water of the shower, I still felt unclean. I still felt the way I had, walking through the cave. I could still remember the texture of the rock, still feel its roughness and the sting of the cuts it etched into my hands. I still felt the spider on my skin and the unwanted kiss on the side of my face from Cade. I scratched at my skin where that kiss had been placed and tried to focus on my melody, focus on the song and that one precious note playing inside of me. But I just turned the shower on again, for I had decided that I needed to clean myself once more.
I remained there under the cool water of the shower for a long time, soaping and re-soaping my body, washing and rewashing my hair. When I finally could tell that my skin was almost rubbed raw, I turned off the water. I wrapped the towel around me once again and sat back down on the toilet seat, trying not to think of anything. I looked at the purple rug on the floor, and I traced the pattern of the flower with my eyes. I imagined that I was an ice skater, that I was dancing along the petals, causing the picture to become etched into purple ice. I danced over the flower over and over and over again until I heard a knock on the bathroom door.
“Emma, dear, are you all right?” Mary called.
“I just took a shower.”
“I know, but are you okay? You have been in there for a while.”
I stood up with dead legs as I stumbled, tripping over the ice-skater-flower masterpiece. “I am good, Mary,” I answered as I opened the door. She smiled at me. It looked like she hadshowered as well. The day was just beginning, but I knew that we both would go right to sleep, and because I could not be trusted alone—she would sleep right beside me.
“Ready for bed?”
I nodded as I moved to my dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and an old pair of sleep shorts. I pulled out my underwear and went back into the bathroom. When I came out, Mary was lying on my bed, reading a book. “Do we really have to do this?”
Mary set her open book down on her chest. “Emma, this is normal when in soul-training.”
“Yes, but it’s also weird, right?”
“What’s so weird?”
“It’s just weird that I have to be watched and stuff.”
“It really isn’t. Usually you go through this when young. I am sorry you have to do it now. Your mother and father had the best intentions.”
“Yeah, I know,” I sighed and pulled my blankets back to get into bed. She picked up her book and started reading again.
“Goodnight, Emma,” Mary said, clicking the lamp off. It seemed that she was just reading until I got into bed.
“Goodnight, Mary."
Chapter Nine
“Emma, are you even trying?” Keil asked as I closed my eyes and tried to visualize my melody.
“Of course, I’m trying,” I puffed out.Can he not see the sweat dripping off of me?I was trying extremely hard, as a matter of fact.
“Yes, yes. I see it. You are trying, but your melody is all over the place, splayed out for anyone to find. Hurry up and call it back.”
I looked at the crystal necklace I set on the table and seriously wondered why I had ever taken it off in the first place.
“I am!” I shouted as I opened my eyes and walked over to him. “I am trying, Keil,” I glared and took in a sharp breath, then turned around so that he couldn’t see my face. I didn’t need him pulling Shad in to calm me down. I hadn’t seen Shad since our shared kiss in the car, and I didn’t want to see him for a while if I could avoid him.
We were in the living room of Keil’s and Shad’s house. He had moved the couch and the coffee table out of the way. I pulled my shoulders back and called to my melody. I tried to play each noteand remember each sound they made. I tried to calm my melody down, but it wasn’t listening.
