Page 48 of Soldier's Chrismas Hope
He was talking about Edward. About a million thoughts ran through her mind—so many things she could say… But River was searching her face for an answer.
“I’m not ashamed,” she heard herself tell him, meeting his eyes so that he could see that she meant it.
“Good,” he said, a quick expression of pleasure flashing across his handsome features before he turned away from her.
“This one,”Pixie yelled out.
“This one,”John-John echoed happily.
“That’s our cue,” River said.
He turned back to Nora and for a moment she had the instinct that he was going to grab her hand.
Instead, he just gave her a gentle smile, and they headed off together.
12
RIVER
River tried to clear his head as they examined trees with the kids.
What’s happening between us?
Somehow, he managed to keep his eye on the prize and focus on the kids for now.
“You’re right. This one is really nice,” he told John-John. “Did you check the back?”
When they circled around, the back had a big dry spot, so the kids decided to move on.
“What about this one?” Pixie asked a few minutes later.
“It’s beautiful,” Nora said.
“Let’s check the size,” River said, knowing already that it was very small. He didn’t even need to hold his arm up next to it, since the tree barely came to his chest. The kids themselves were so tiny that he figured all the trees probably looked big to them.
“Bigger,”John-John yelled out.
“Yes, we want a bigger one,” Pixie agreed, nodding with a smile.
They trooped on, stopping for John-John to make a snowball and throw it in the air, then chuckle when it thumped down to the ground.
The fresh layer of delicate snow made the older layer that was already covering the farm look bright and cheerful again.
Like me,River thought to himself.This day is remaking me too.
Now that he was home, he tried his best to keep his focus on the present and the future. But his time away had changed him. With all he had seen, that was inevitable.
The more time River spent with Nora and the kids, though, the more he felt like himself. He would never be the man he had been before he went away. But the puzzle pieces of the past and the present were slipping into place side-by-side more often than not these last few days.
I need a purpose,he realized.I thought the farm would be enough, but it’s not the same on my own.
Acting as protector of Nora and her brood satisfied the need for vigilance he hadn’t known what to do with since getting home. When he spent his days keeping the kids safe and happy, it was easier to sleep at night, even in the rickety old cottage.
And today he was finding it easier to be out in the world, even making small talk with people from his past.
“This one?” Pixie asked.
“Oh, wow,” Nora said.
