Page 135 of Drive
“It’s the same damn thing if you’re in love with him!”
I knew he was right. I knew he was, but it didn’t stop me from fighting.
“Nate, we barely started, Reid and I, and we ended so long ago.”
“Lies. You’re not a liar, Stella! I deserve you! Where has this greedy fuck been? Where is he now? Waiting for you on a jet? Damn you both.” He jerked some clothes from our closet and began packing.
I had no right to argue, but the half of me that belonged to Nate Butler was not going down without a fight. “Never in all our time together did younotfeel me with you, Nate Butler. You can accuse me of a lot right now, but not of being absent! You were the one who was absent!”
He stopped packing his bag and shook his head slowly. “You don’t fucking get to throw that in now when it’s convenient.”
“It never was convenient, was it?”
“Oh, that’s some fucked logic, Stella!”
I shrugged. “It didn’t matter. And do you know why? I wantedus. I would never have taken this ring if I didn’t think I would be happy as your wife and could make you happy.”
“Stella,” he said, his voice cracking as his eyes swam. “Isawit. I will never be able to erase that image from my head.Ever.”
He picked up a picture of us—a shot of us the night we got engaged, the night he got down on both knees and asked me for forever—and smashed it into the wall behind me.
“Nate.” I cringed at his outburst. He was seething.
He paced in front of me, his eyes blue fire.
“Tell me everything. Right now, Stella.”
“He was my first love. It just stunned me. That’s all.”
“You aren’t going to lie your way out of this. I want the truth. Right now. I deserve it.”
“I don’t even know him anymore,” I said, but even that felt wrong. I was defenseless after an ambush. I never felt like I wouldn’t be happy where I was. Nate was enough, that’s what my heart told me, and I believed it.
Reid was the goddamn grenade.
“Well, he knows you. That whole set was for you! Admit it,” he said, taking a dangerous step toward me. “Stella,” he snapped, as my eyes begged him to let it go. He lifted his chin, ready for the blow, and I delivered.
“I love you both,” I cried as he towered over me. “And he was never supposed to come back for me.”
“But he did,” he said as angry tears fell down his cheeks.
I would never forgive myself for hurting him.
“After the interview, he showed up to Paige’s wedding and told me he wanted me back. I told him I was with you, that I was happy.”
“And you came home and fucked me,” he scoffed.
“And the day after that and the day after. I’ve made myself clear to you both!” I pulled his suitcase off the bed and threw it on the floor. “It’s your ring that I’m wearing, your name that I’m taking.”
“No,” he said, shaking his head.
“No?” I said, walking toward him as my world stopped for the second time that night.
“Maybe you choose me now, atthismoment, but regret that decision later, resent me. You already told me months ago you wanted more. And I’m not going to walk around like a fucking zombie waiting for my wife to leave me!”
He pulled my arms away from him, and I sank onto our bed as the gravity of losing him hit repeatedly.
“Nate, you mean so much to me. You’re my best friend. I love you,” I croaked. “Please don’t go.”
