Page 143 of Drive
My mistakes, my false certainties, all the things that moved me through trial and error kept things exciting, kept me on my toes, kept me growing in the right direction within reach of someone growing the same way. I let my emotions run my life, or in the case of Reid and Nate,overrunmy life, and I forgot about the one thing that eased my temperament, the one thing that made me, me.
Music.
I was still in control most of the time, butsometimesI lost it.
And still, Ilovedthe emotional woman I’d become.
And the more I looked in the rearview, the closer I got to the truth. It was okay to love them both, to give my heart a chance to explore, but I had already let go. I was reminiscing about the life I lived, and maybe that was my imperfection. Maybe that’s where I still let my emotions run away and rule at times. It made me imperfect and emotional, but I was good with that and pretty fucking done apologizing for it. And with the man who loved me, I didn’t have to. So, with only a few hundred miles to go, my eyes no longer searched behind but focused forward. It was time to get home.
CHAPTER FORTY-TWO
“Wasted Time”
Eagles
THREE MONTHS LATER
“Are you getting it?” Lexi asked as I held my iPhone up on the side of the stage.
“Yep,” I said as I zoomed in on the drummer, the video ticking, my heart hammering with excitement. I was in complete awe.
“God, this is awesome,” Lexi said at my side. “I can’t believe we got back here!”
“I know,” I said, glancing her way. “We’ve come a long way, baby!”
Lexi and I were like pigs in shit as we watched the show from the side of the stage.
I ended the video and sent it to my father, who messaged me back something resembling an impressed text. He was just starting to learn and was getting there. Though I wasn’t sure he knew whatLOLmeant.
“I fucking love you,” Lexi yelled as she rocked out next to me, full on fangirl. I gave her a lopsided smile.
“Hmm, with all the prejudice you had, you finally giving in?”
“They are awesome!”
“Yeah, well, I’ve always been right about them!” I yelled with an elbow nudge.
“You are,” she said, looking down at her phone with pressed brows. She glanced at me and her shoulders sagged.
“You have to go,” I said as she slowly nodded, her devastation evident on her features. We shared a tear-filled smile.
“Go,” I said, hugging her tight.
“I’ll call you all the time, I promise.”
“You better,” I warned playfully as she picked up her backpack. “How did I get here?” she asked with an incredulous face.
Tears threatening, I faced my best friend, who had been there through damn near every song of my life. She had been my rock, my comfort, and I hoped briefly that I had been half as much to her. “You got here because you are hot shit and the world was smart enough to notice. I love you.”
We hugged again as she looked down at my fresh Converse. “Nice choice.”
Twisting my foot, I displayed my fresh white chucks that I’d scribbled “Don’t Worry Be Happy” on just hours before the concert.
“I think so, too. Fitting, right?”
Tears streamed down her cheeks as she gave me one last hug and whispered, “This isn’t goodbye, you know.”
“I know,” I said, though my heart was already missing her. And though I knew we would always be close, it felt like the end of our independence together. We both were chasing big dreams that were leading us down different roads.
