Page 89 of Severed Heart
“No,” she answers sharply, too sharply as she does when she senses my eyes on her for too long.
Securing my mask tightly in place while pushing all desire-filled thoughts away, I flit through the number of questions I’m becoming more impatient to ask as she rattles below me. The one most burning. ‘What was so special about Alain that you endured his abuse for so long?’ Instead, I ask the only one that truly matters. “Are you okay, Delphine?”
The use of her name has her staring back at me, unflinching, despite the state I found her in. If anything, she seems to be filling with contempt. She retrieves her cigarette from the dirty ashtray on her nightstand, resting against her tattered wicker headboard while pulling the sheet up and over her crossed legs.
“How old are you now, Tyler?”
“I turned eighteen a few months ago,” I relay, knowing it means fuck all to her.
She runs her thumb down the side of her cigarette. “Old enough to do yourself and the women in your life a service.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?”
“Don’t make promises to women you have no intention of keeping, in and out of the bedroom.”
“I’ll keep that in mind.”
“Will you? I doubt it,” she scoffs, exhaling a plume of smoke, her steady stare penetrating. Guard rising, a snake-like fog starts to cloud her eyes. Its arrival letting me know her alcohol-drenched brain is convincing her that I’m going from ally to enemy. There’s nothing I can get her. There’s no way to get to her, and it’s time to go before she lashes out. “I’m going to head home.”
“Why?” she asks with a venomous smirk that brings my irritation to its breaking point. “You don’t like taking advice from a woman?”
“No, because your lecture isunnecessary, hence the shaking thighs of the girl I just drove home. I know very well howto fuck, Delphine, so I’m covered there. Sorry your date didn’t work out as well,” I grit out. “And as far as your advice, I’mall ears for it wheneverSmirnoff isn’t the one helping to cultivate it. Nor am I willing to tune into it when you’ve got a warped sense that I’m the enemy and a cruel, calculating fucking look in your eyes for me that we both know I don’t deserve. So yeah, tonight, I’m going to pass.”
When her lips part in clear surprise, a sick satisfaction thrums through me that I got any reaction from her at all.
“Sorry,” I draw out dryly, my tone anything but apologetic, “I’m utilizing my mask a little less these days, General. Advice of yours Ichoseto take because I’ve aged into playing the fucking adult game now.” I shake my head, speaking on exhale. “The fuck am I doing?”
Knowing better than to argue with alcohol, I bite out my parting words. “Take care. I guess I’ll see you around.”
She bites her lip and nods as I turn and stride toward her bedroom door. I’m a step outside of it when I hear her whispered confession.
“I miss fishin’ buddy very much.”
Freezing, I turn back to see the release of a tiny tear and go utterly still at the sight of it. She stares back at me in shock that I heard her barely audible confession as the ice around my heart instantly melts at her acknowledgment. The rest of it sliding off as I watch the tear I know belongs to me trailing down her cheek. A tear that has me stepping back toward her bed in demand of an explanation. When she sees my intent, her mouth opens and closes but I shake my head in warning, refuting her any ability to try and backtrack.
“You miss me?” I ask, point-blank, holding her gaze in demand of an answer. But it’s the defeated look in her eyes that speaks volumes before her lips finally part.
“Oui,” she whispers, “I miss you very much. You were my only friend.”
“Then why in the fuck did you push me away?”
She bites her lip, and her eyes drop.
“Okay, we both know why, and I’ll own that I behaved badly and probably acted exactly like you expected I would. That’s on me. And trust me, I regret it. But I have always respected your boundaries, and you all but slammed the door in my face. So the way I see it, we’re both assholes. But right now, you’re being the bigger one.”
“I am sorry, Soldier,” she whispers. “You are right. I have no business giving advice.” She nods. “I was a fucking fool to try to go on a date. Merci. Thank you for coming to help me,again.” Her lips shake with her delivery. “Just forgive me and go.” She nods toward the door. “You do not deserve this. My contempt, it’s not for you. It’s for me.”
My heart fucking stutters as she waves me away. Again.
“Please, Tyler,” she urges, “go, I am fine. I will be fine.”
Refusing her order, I remain standing at her bedside, positive she’s used to people dismissing her after she shoots her venom—leaving her in the state she’s in. But what if, and maybe for the first time, someone stayed? Someone remained there to witness what happens after. Knowing I’m stepping on a landmine, I keep my footing steady.
“Or ... you can cut the shit, stop tap dancing around the truth, realize I’m herefor youand fucking talk to me.” I double down by kneeling at her bedside. “Talk to me, damn it. Tell me why you’re so upset. If it’s not the asshole who just left, then what is it?”
“Tyler, this is not for you to deal with ... or to decipher.”
“The fuck it’s not. You just said I’m your only friend, and I still want to be. I care very much about you, so let me in.”
