Page 85 of Severed Heart
“No, as much of a fuckup as you both think I might be, I want to do something important with my life. My other dreams are simple, but this isn’t. I need this, and I do want it. I don’t see any other future for myself.”
“Then why the fuck are you sabotaging it?” I demand.
“Because I’m a fucking idiot,” he states, “it was a cheap thrill, a distraction. It was reckless and stupid, and I get it, okay? I do. It won’t happen again,” Sean declares in a rare serious tone. “I’ll figure my shit out, but please, don’t let him take my wings.” He piles his hands on his head as he does when he’s really upset. “Fuck. I’m just ... I’m sorry.”
“Sorry won’t ever cut it again,” I state emphatically, “no matter your fucking headspace.”
Sean slowly nods as I drop the Glock and step up to him before palming his shoulders.
“The days of your parents’ struggles are numbered, I swear to you, and I’ll sweeten the deal and play fucking Friar when the time comes to pass out your blessings. That’s if you still have a place with us.”
“Don’t let him take my wings,” Sean croaks between us, “please—”
“I won’t,” Tobias interjects, emerging from the nearby trees where I messaged him we’d be. Dressed in jeans and a T-shirt, expression unforgiving, his wrath-filled fire-colored eyes are fixed on Sean, whose complexion is now ashen. “And it would do you some good to remember that your place in the club is notup to them,” Tobias spits, kneeling before pulling an AK out of the bag, his gaze as unforgiving as his tone as he continues to level Sean with both. “So, consider this day one of avery longfuckingprobationand your first and last fucking warning from thedecision maker. Brother or not, if you ever fuck up like that again, you’re done.”
Dom shakes his head at his brother’s unexpected appearance, a broadening grin on his face. “You’re really playing your part these days, ghost of fucking Triple past.”
Tobias keeps his pointed stare on Sean a beat longer before embracing his brother in greeting. Glancing over, I see Sean bat away a few tears of relief.
“Thank fuck,” I say on exhale, my shoulders sagging as Sean stares back at me in a way I know the fresh sting between us will take some time to fade.
“I’ve been waiting a very long time for this day,” Tobias says between us, “but that day is finally here, and the true work startsnow,” he reiterates to Sean, who slowly dips his head in response.
Just after, Sean disappears between the trees for a beat, and I resist the urge to follow him, helping T and Dom unpack the duffle instead. My fear for Sean outweighing my need for us to be in good standing. Not long after, I know I made the right call when Sean emerges without a trace of animation in his expression. Eyes sharp, jaw set, and focused, he chooses his weapon and joins our lineup. It’s then I start to feel it. A feeling similar to the day we stood outside the garage just after Dom signed for the key. The beginning ... of something more. More meaningful. Our purpose.
It’s on the silent ride back to my granddad’s that I sense the last of the shift—the true end of summer. Of our lives as we once knew them.
The end of our innocence.
Chapter Twenty-Four
TYLER
FALL 2005
She’s on a fucking date.
Beer in hand, I stare into the bonfire feet away from me, doing my best to try to contain the inferno roaring inside as I considermy owndate. Red cup in her own hand, Amy unknowingly chats amongst our group of made birds and the newer recruits present at our latest meetup.
Let her go, Jennings.
Sensing the weight of my stare, Amy turns and beams at me. I give her a wink of acknowledgment in return before scanning those crowded around the fire. But instead of seeing the group as they are in reality—drinking, laughing, smoking, and chatting enthusiastically—I see their individual positions on the board. All a part of the army I’m slowly cultivating.
Russell is a prime candidate for second-in-command, forever ready to step up when summoned. Daily, he makes it his mission to pay careful attention to every detail of the goings-on of the club. Jeremy, though naturally a clown, is a cunning one. Good at disarming people to get close enough for recon and any smoke-and-mirror theft if we’re put in a tight spot. Between his criminal mind and Dom’s, we’ll never run out of creative heists.
Over the next few years, I have gaps and positions that need filling, and thanks to Delphine, I can see each so clearly. Ignoring the beer in my hand as I have all night, my mental plotting takes front and center, my eyes landing next on Layla, now heavily in on the secret.
Ironically, after my suggestion that Layla become a bird, she was brought organically into the fold by a recruit, Craig. A recruit she’s currently delaying my introduction to as they maul each other in a camping chair a few feet away. After a few conversations with Tobias, Layla’s suggested plans of her part to play will prove her worth. With close ties to damned near everyone in this town—and after opening her salon—she’ll not only be helpful in adding to our revenue stream but also become our resident spy. Utilizing her salon chair to keep up with the gossip and goings-on of everyone in Triple Falls. Over time, if she proves herself, she will be our first lady bird.
The rest of the small but growing crowd of faces I picture so easily in my lineup. Mentally positioning them based on their strengths and weaknesses—the way my heartless general taught me. A general whose lighthearted greeting earlier tonight leveled me as she breezed into the living room dressed to kill in a long-sleeved sweaterdress, knee-high boots, onyx hair down and tousled. Her lush lips painted wine red. The sight of her dressed like that—and for another man—snatched my beating heart right out of my goddamned chest.
She might be on a date ... but so are you.
Full of resentment and white-hot jealousy, I picked up Amy just after, determined to live within the parameters Delphine set withgirls my own age. An attempt to press through the heartache I’ve been battling for too many fucking months and move on, trying to date a girl I might get somewhere with. Because, of course, girls my own age are interested in drawing parallels between Star Wars and our current society. Talking for hours about battles of the past and the private lives and actions of historical figures to determine tactics in psychological warfare. Oh, and love to fish and hunt.
While I’m certain there’s a runner-up somewhere that might eventually fit the bill, I don’t want any part of her.
That much became evident when I gave Amy a little something to remember me by earlier tonight before choking when the time came to fit the condom that was burning a hole in my pocket. Even as she begged for it, and even while I was on fucking fire for some touch.
