Page 79 of Severed Heart
“Fine.” His posture grows taut. “Because you’re an asshole?”
I nod. “Frothing at mouth asshole.”
“But you care, you love.” He pleads for me. “You said so yourself. You loved Celine.”
“I care, I have loved, but I have a cruel nature that I not only embrace often but used to do damage I cannot rectify.” I sigh. “My baths are to cleanse myself so God will better hear my prayers and help with my regret.”
“Cleanliness is next to godliness and all that shit?”
“Not shit,” I defend. “I don’t tell you what to believe, so do not condemn mine.”
“Got it,” he sighs out. “Sorry.” At the next light, he stays silent for a long moment. “That’s such a bleak fucking existence, Delphine. You could just apologize.”
“You cannot apologize for that sort of thing. Those apologies do not get accepted, Tyler. Dom’s anger is my fault. Look at me,” I implore, and he does, his expression a mask of refusal even as I tell him otherwise.
“I am a villain, not victim, not a damsel in stress. I made selfish choices and spoke horrible things, many of them were purposeful. Believe my truth and not what you want to see in me.”
“I don’t share your opinion.”
“That is funny because a villain is the only thing I am sure I am anymore, but in mentoring you, I see the chance to maybe redeem myself.”
“So, that’s what this friendship is for you,” he says, running a finger along the bottom of the wheel at the stoplight as the air grows thick with his anger. “I’m your shot at redemption with Dom and Tobias. Got it. All right.” Fury lights his expression before he gives me another hard stare.
“I’m not drunk,” I declare. “But think it anyway, so you can say to yourself, ‘she didn’t mean any of her brash last night. It was the vodka talking for her.’ So you can forgive me and forget this conversation, and we can be like normal tomorrow. Masks on.”
“You are being an asshole,” he declares bitterly as he stomps on the gas, his face lit by the green light as we pass. “How about that?”
“Oh, mean, tough guy,” I laugh and shake my head. “That is being defensive, Tyler, not dropping your mask.”
“What got you so pissed at me tonight? I thought we were having a good time.”
“I’m not mad at you, Tyler. I’m reflecting on my past decisions, my cross, and maybe I’m the asshole to you for it. I’m sorry to upset you with my brash truth.”
“Only because you flat out admitted you’re using me because you can’t get to Dom.”
“Maybe it was part of the truth at the beginning, but it’s not truth anymore. You have become my very good friend, but you should not be spending your free time with me. You should be spending time with your friends, Dom and Sean, with people of your age.”
His face pinches in anger. “I do. I do every single day, and you know that.”
“But you end most of them with me.”
“What’s fucking wrong with that?” he retorts with edge in his voice.
“Why did you hide us from your family when we fish?” I ask, speaking quickly, as not to allow whatever excuse he may come up with to pass his lips. “Because you know they would not approve of friendship with a woman of my age.”
“We’re not doing anything wrong,” he utters in weak argument.
“We know that, but we also know outsiders won’t understand.”
I turn to see the hurt etched on his face and quickly dart my eyes away.
“You know I speak the truth, and yes, we do have a very good friendship. You are a beautiful boy,” I tell him, “who should also be distracted by the ladies like cousin Barrett.”
“Trust me, I’m fucking covered there.” His short laugh is menacing as his stare hardens further. “Unlike you, I amnot just a kissing tramp and do fuckthe girls.”His chest pumps with a silent laugh as he shakes his head ironically. “Jesus, I just wanted to take you to the fucking movies.”
“Tyler—”
He whips his head toward me, pinning me silent with a withering stare. “Mask off, huh?” he chides, his eyes sweeping me in condescension.
