Page 56 of Severed Heart
“Your hands are freezing. Come inside. Let me take you to lay down.”
Shaking my head, I pull my hands from his grip. “I’m okay right here.”
“No, you’re not—”
“I don’t want”—I swallow—“to e-mb-barrass Jean Dominic.” A sob bursts out of me with my admission as I fail to rein any more emotion in. “T-Tyler, p-please leave me.”
His eyes go distant as he shakes his head, his frustration clear as I make the same request.
“P-please go,” I beg.
As he stands, I see his resignation. “Let me get you some gloves at least.”
“Leave me, Tyler,” I scold. “I’mnotin need of help.”
“No? Well, let’s give it a fucking minute,” he clips sarcastically before he shoves his clenching fists in his jeans, clearly angry he has no authority over me. “I’m sorry,” he offers quickly in a soft whisper of apology. “I’m sorry, Delphine. I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes, you did,” I sniff as another tear rolls down my cheek. “I know what you all think of me. I canfeel itbefore any of you say a word.”
“You have no fucking idea what I think of you,” he whispers vehemently.
“Tyler, leave me, please.”
“Fuck ... fine, but I’m getting you a goddamned blanket.”
I nearly laugh at his outburst as he mumbles his frustration and enters the house. As I become lost in the flurries surrounding me, the numb I so desperately need starts to set in before I’m covered by a thick wool blanket. Just after cloaking me with it, Tyler again kneels at my feet, his brown eyes flickering with warmth as he looks up at me imploringly.
“I’m not trying to upset you. I just want to know you,” he relays softly.
“I no longer know myself, Tyler,” I admit, pulling another cigarette from my pack as he grabs my lighter.
“What do you mean?” He frowns while lighting my cigarette.
“It’s not important,” I say on exhale, “what matters right now is that when I look at you, I see so much. There is so much good in you, Tyler. Your potential is limitless. I should have told you before now, but I want you to know this.”
“Then stop disappearing on me,” he implores with a hint of agitation. “You’ve been avoiding me for weeks.”
“I’m not in a good place.”
“Neither am I,” he retorts instantly. “And I know you know that, but we were doing good until you checked out, weren’t we?”
I nod, my eyes filling again, agitating me further. My overwhelming emotions keeping me helpless to the blanket threatening to pull me back under. It’s the look in his eyes that keeps me from succumbing.
“So, fuck it. Have bad days, but don’t withdraw from me, and let me try to be there for you.”
“I’m not a good person to mentor you.” I shake my head. “I’m not good in my mind. Mentally.” It’s the first time I’ve admitted it out loud—to anyone.
“Well, you are good inmy mind,” he says forcefully.
I shake my head as he wipes a tear from my chin. “Tyler... I have very bad problems with my memory, and I often get aggravated and lash out. I don’t want to do more harm than I have. I have no business shaping your mind.”
“Listen to me,” he says sharply, commanding my eyes. “I already knew what you just admitted, and I can handle it. But I also know how much you helped Tobias before he left. I’ve learned so much from you already, and as selfish as it may be to ask, I need this. Ineedyour help, Delphine. Help me, and I swear to you right now, no matter what happens, I won’t hold it against you. Ever. So please stop avoiding me. I have bad days, too. Very bad days. Trust me.”
“I know you do,” I tell him. “I know because there is another side to you that no one sees. Not even them.” I point toward the door. “It’s dangerous for you because you don’t know what it is or will become.”
He bites his lip as if trying to decipher whether to confirm it before nodding his head. “I need help with that, too.”
I palm his cheek, and his features twist in anguish as he presses into my palm, seeming desperate for the touch. It’s then I again find myself unable to refuse him. “Do not be ashamed. I can help you with this.”
