Page 226 of Severed Heart
“You did so good, General,” I relay as my heart starts to hemorrhage, “do you hear me? You fought so well. You made us safe again. We’re all home now because of you, and sleeping more soundly. You’re the reason we’re okay. All your strategies paid off.”
Russell’s head snaps toward me because, to this day, my birds, her birds, and army know very little of her involvement. Of who their true leader was and is. Because she’s always been an unsung hero in her story and never wanted the credit, only the journey of a soldier.
“Through you, I fulfilled my dreams,” she proclaims, “and I will wait, Soldier, as long as you promise me something in return.”
“Anything,” I manage through the burn in my throat.
“Ne me pleure pas. Promis moi. Do not mourn me so long it hurts you, Tyler. Steal your life back the first chance you get. Win again. And when you find her, or when she finds you, let yourself love her as you loved me. Live as bothman and my soldier. Win again.”
“Are you in pain?”
“Promise me you’ll try,” she insists.
“I can’t,” I counter brokenly, as my heart starts to muddle its beat, utterly confused in rhythm.
“Please try,” she urges softly. “You are so young.”
“You are my forever,” I declare, knowing this is our last fight and one I can’t let her win, and I fucking hate myself for it. But I feel its truth to my core. No woman will ever be able to match her. It’s pointless to conceive of it.
“You haven’t seen it yet. But you will. That is why I’m okay to go.”
“Are you ... in pain?” I rasp out, unable to mask my own.
“Not bad, Soldier,” she assures. “I promise.”
“Okay. Give the phone to Sheila.”
When Sheila comes on the line, I don’t bother with anything other than my order as precious seconds tick by. “Give her as much as she can handle while keeping her as cognizant as possible.”
“I’ll administer now.”
“Thank you. Please put her back on the phone.”
A few seconds pass as I try to find worthy words for the woman on the other end of the line, and miraculously, they begin pouring out of me.
“I first took notice of you at fourteen. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t recognize how beautiful you were. But in my eyes, you were just another parent. Someone’s mom—” I crack briefly but muster the strength, refusing the hurt to deny me any confession.
“The way you spoke. Jesus, you did not mince words. At times, it was ruthless, but it was addictive hearing the truth from someone who voiced it so often—in every conversation. I respected you so much for it. Because it’s so fucking brave. You were no saint, but I could tell you were trying with Dom. After so many failed attempts, I couldn’t figure out why you kept trying so hard—until one day, it dawned on me. I realized thatyour normalwasn’t your normal at all. I don’t know when I finally grasped it, but I understood that you hadn’t been yourselfin years.” I grip the passenger handle as Russell takes a dicey turn before rocketing us forward.
“Somehow Iknewthe woman I originally met wasn’t exactly you. It wasn’t your beauty that day, but a shift. It was like seeing the sun for the first time. It was too bright to get a clear view of. That was what my first look at you was, getting a glimpse of the sun. I know now that I met the true you the day I wandered into your house, and you taught me how to breathe through my anger and pain... but fuck, baby.” I swallow. “When I finally did get my first real look at you, God, did I fucking ever lose myself in those seconds. And that’s what it was like staring at youafter, what iffeltlike. Looking at something you’re not supposed to gaze upon for too long, something you’re not allowed to have. And fuck, how it hurt, but I just kept looking, kept falling. Your beauty overwhelmed me, though you tried so fucking hard to conceal it, so hard. But it was the day you wore that sundress and brought home those plants that you stole my forever.”
“I remember that day,” she rasps. “You were walking up the driveway. Tyler, Ifelt it.”
“When you looked up and smiled at me, I lost all the fight I had left. We’d been spending so much time together, butthat day, in that moment, I knew I was just fucking done. Done searching the faces of any girl for what I had already found with you. Done searching for someone to share my thoughts with, my pain with. My heart had already decided, and though my mind fought me, that war was long over. You’d already captured me utterly because of who you were. With the playful glint in your eyes. I hung on every word you spoke. And when Dom dismissed your efforts that day without a thought, and didn’t spare you, I watched as your expression went bleak.Feltyour defeat before you drank right from the bottle. As you did, Isawyou missher. The girl you were, the girl you were trying so hard to get back to. The girl who smiled at me in the driveway. It broke something in me that no one noticed your struggle, but baby, I did. Though I was enchanted, I respected you so much for fighting so hard to get back to her.”
Silence.
“Baby, you there?”
“I’m here,” she exhales in a shaky rush.
“From then on, you fascinated me. I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I couldn’t understand how a creature so beautiful was so angry and defeated, but I never really pitied you. I rooted for you. I can honestly claim that because I fuckingknewyou were fighting to get back toyourself, even then. To become the woman you revealed to me, the woman I fell for, the woman you are now. It’s been a long, long battle for you, baby. Such a long road.” I crack a little as a sob bursts from her mouth. “But you have existed as that woman since the day I walked back into your house.” I swallow. “You need to know, Delphine, that building a true home with you, being with you as that woman, has given me the happiest months of my life. We’ve had years together combined, and I’m going to spend the rest of my days thankful for every sunset we had. You were worth waiting for. You were so worth waiting for. So fucking worth it”—my voice cracks—“so worth it.”
“I never thought I would know happiness, but I’m taking so many good days with me. Thank you for seeing me, Tyler.”
“Don’t thank me, baby, just wait for methere,” I croak. “I’ll meet you. We’ll be together in your place. I’ll try so hard to have faith ... I’ll try so hard, I promise.”
“How ... far are you?” she whispers.
