Page 145 of Severed Heart
I nod.
“I really don’t mind staying,” Kerri offers, remorse clear in her tone.
“No, I’ve got her.”
Sometime later, the feel of fingers running through my hair has me easing back from my slip out of consciousness. As I rouse, I absorb as much as I can of Delphine’s gentle touch, surprised by the nature of it considering my confession. My smile precedes the opening of my eyes as I take her in. In a short assessment, she seems to have regained slight color, a step up from ghastly pale. Her eyes, though filled with sleep, hold some of the disbelief they harbored before she closed them.
“Did I dream that, Soldier?” she whispers, still stroking my hair.
“No,” I emit low, but unflinching.
She glances around the room.
“We’re alone. I dismissed the nurse,” I relay. “Don’t be afraid of me.”
“I’m not,” she replies instantly. “I’m not afraid, Tyler. Never of you, but you ... found him. You truly found Alain?”
“Huntedwould be the more appropriate word, but yes.”
“And you ... killed him?”
“Yes,” I state unapologetically. “He suffered every wound he gave you that night in that exact order.”
“Why?”
I readjust my pillow, facing her. “Because I couldn’t live with the fact that he was still breathing. Because I knew the first time I took a life, it would alter me, change me as it does for every man. So, I controlled that decision, and in doing so, it was utterly fucking painless.”
“Painless ... but, Tyler, you’re—”
“Yes, I am, andyou knowI am,” I state emphatically as her eyes roam my face. “You knew long ago that my blood can run very, very cold. You saw it when I was a kid. You suspected I was capable. I didn’t want to talk about it because IknewI was. But because I faced it, I’ve got control of it, not the other way around.” I let out a long exhale. “But let me be clear, I can only speak witheaseabout itto you and only with you. Don’t think I didn’t battle the weight of what it means, mind and soul, because I did for some time.”
She nods and continues running her fingers over my brow, eyes heavy with the need for sleep as questions lie inside them.
“One step at a time, and this isn’t the time yet. Do you trust me?”
“With my life, but ... you”—she shakes her head—“discovered so much.”
“This is a trauma you need to work through, build up to, and it’s going to take time. I want us to be as armed as possible when we go into that battle, but we’re not ready yet. I can’t promise it will be easy, but you will have your answers.”
“Okay, Soldier, I will trust you.” She palms my jaw, and I close my eyes at the feel of it. “I have missed you ... imbecile,” she jokes weakly, “very much.”
I can’t help but smile even as the melancholy hits. “Me too, General.”
By the time I open by eyes, her fingers have stilled, and she’s drifted back to sleep.
Chapter Thirty-Nine
DELPHINE
OPENING MY EYESdue to the sun rays heating my back through the blinds and the screaming of my bladder, I’m met by the sight of Tyler, who sleeps soundly facing me.
Aside from the dog tags hanging limply from his neck, he’s bare from the waist up, the sheet draped along his hip. Inching my head back on my pillow to gain more view, I do my best not to disturb the light grip of his palm on my hip—one that indicates he must have reached for me in the night. As awful as I feel, I can’t help but appreciate and soak in every detail of the man lying next to me.
My beautiful boy, my soldier, came back all man. A man with very few signs of the boy who left. One of those signs being very faint freckles on the bridge of his nose ending at the edge of each of his cheeks. His ridiculously long, curled lashes grab several seconds of my admiration, thick dark brows complimenting his complexion and bone structure. The dimple in his jaw now seems etched, especially now that it’s covered in light stubble and stays present without animation. His slightly parted, full lips, which are taking shallow breaths, are tinted dark pink. The look of them is so soft. The remembrance of their touch is so powerful that I can easily recall thephysicalfeel of them— the feel ofallof him. A night even my treacherous mind refuses to let me forget. It wasn’t at all a boy who took my body that night. It was a preview of the man lying in front of me now, utterly captivating me.
From the waist up, his sun-tinted skin is covered in nothing but deeply defined muscle. His brown hair looks darker now, neatly trimmed on the sides. Only a few inches long, the top trimmed off, just where there used to be a slight curl. I loved that curl.
Tyler, as a boy, was so beautiful, but the man who took his place has done nothing but continually take my breath away since he appeared at my door. My fingers itch to palm his jaw, to touch any part of him, though I no longer have any right to take such liberties.
