Page 166 of Severed Heart
“Jesus,” she whispers, her touch at my scalp becoming more gentle. “I’m so sorry you went through that.”
“After, I didn’t want to be beautiful. I didn’t dress to get attention. I did everything I could to keep men away. But now.” I think of Tyler, of the way he once looked at me, and my eyes water with the want to get that look back. “I-I want to.” I swallow as emotion threatens. “I’m sorry. I have been very emotional since I started therapy and stop drinking.”
“It’s okay, honey, you don’t have to talk about it,” she consoles me.
“Non, I’ve been quiet for so many years, Layla—too manyyears. I’m doing so many things that make me uncomfortable now,” I explain. “Therapy is very, very uncomfortable for me, but it has helped me to talk more. I want to tell you, I just need time to do it without so much emotion.”
“Well, how about I make it a little easier for you?” she offers, and I nod. “So, before Denny, I dated this asshole I thought was the one. He was gorgeous and brilliant, and I really loved him. He had it rough when he was young, like most of us. He really wanted to be a better man, but he lost the battle with his demons and started treating me like shit. He got into drugs, I caught him cheating, it was a total shit show, and I put up with itfor far too long.” She runs the water close to my scalp as my shoulders relax, her touch tender. “He left scars both visible and invisible,” she continues, pausing her fingers as if lost in her memories. “But then Denny came along and kind of loved me back to health. He swears I did the same for him. We’re a little co-dependent. You know what that means?”
I nod.
“Well.” Her magical fingers continue to massage my scalp. “They say it’s not healthy in a relationship, but—”
“You lookvery, veryhealthy, Layla.”
“Exactly.” she smiles. “I’m thriving and happier than I’ve ever been. And though my fiancé is a moody asshole most days, he treatsmelike gold. He’s fiercely protective of me, ridiculously jealous, and at times, it drives me crazy. But after what I went through, it makes me feel safe that he’s possessive. So, frankly, I don’t give a rat’s ass that we need each other so much.”
“Rat’s ass,” I laugh, and she grins. “I like that.” I bite my lip. “So ... how do you know Denny won’t hurt you the same?”
“I don’t,” she answers easily. “I don’t know.” She pauses, staring down at me where my head remains in the shampoo bowl. “We don’t get to know, Delphine. We just have to trust ourselves to know better, and that’s the scary part. But it’s been a long time, and I’ve forgiven the younger me for putting up with those hard years of abuse. The younger Layla just wanted to be loved.”
“This is what I try to do every day in therapy. Forgive younger Delphine.”
“This is a very good step in helping to do that—taking care of her again emotionally and physically. I’m glad you’re doing it. But if I may say.” She leans down, her voice barely above a whisper. “I think you already know that Tyler is the very best of men, and you’re as safe as you can get.”
My eyes bulge at her admission.
“Sorry, honey, but I’m a mother hen, and I make it a point to be aware of every bird’s personal business, whether they like it or not. I’m just as protective of them as they are of me. But I didn’t get this information from anyone inked. I saw you two together one day years back. You were at a snow cone stand. I had just pulled into the parking lot when I spotted you both in line. I saw the way he looked at you when you turned your head. I had known Tyler for years already and had never seen that look. So, I kept watching,” she admits sheepishly. “Not long after, I saw the wayyou looked back at him. I couldsee so clearlythat you two were in love.”
She shrugs as I wince that we were so obvious.
“Unfortunately, it’s one of the costs of living in such a small town, but it was the sight of you two that really made a lasting impression on me. You especially. You looked so beautiful and happy. I even remember you were wearing a light blue sundress with tiny straps.”
My eyes water at her admission. “I do not look like that, like her anymore.” I blow out a long breath. “For so long, I never wanted to be the beautiful woman people told me I was. Ironic now. All I want is to look a little like her again. So”—I wince, shaking my head and palming my face—“I’m an imbecile.”
“No, honey, you’re not,” she whispers, gently pulling my hand away. “You want it back, for yourself and maybe from him?” she prompts.
I nod, my neck heating. “Very much.”
She gives me a wink. “You’re nowhere near as far gone as you think you are. Keep coming to me, put a little more weight on between visits, and I promise that you will see the difference. Okay?”
“Okay,” I agree, hope lighting in my chest.
She scans my face. “But you and I both know Tyler doesn’t love with his eyes, Delphine.”
“Oui. I know.”
Stopping the water, Layla draws a towel from the cabinet behind the sink above me, wiping her hands dry before taking a few steps to stand in front of me. Shielding me with her body from prying eyes, she grips both my hands.
“You’re still very beautiful, Delphine. It will take a few weeks to show the full effect, but I can tell already it’s kicking in a bit.” Her smile grows as her eyes light up. “After we’re done here, we’re going to walk down to Retro Stitch, a little dress shop my friend Tessa owns. She owes me for her last color, and so we’re going to find you another blue dress. Then you and I are going to get a pedicure—together—because I could use a little tender loving care myself.
“That’s too much,” I say. “Too much effort—”
“Honey, it’s not enough. Girls like you and me oweit to ourselvesto take our power back in any way we deem necessary. That’s what you’re doing today. Like I said, Ilive forstuff like this, so let’s go a little crazy together. Make a day of it? I promise it will be just as much for me as it is for you.”
I nod, feeling self-conscious about my emotions as my tears fall.
“I’m going to take these tears as a good sign,” she says, brushing them from beneath my eyes before pulling me to stand and guiding me back to her station.
