Page 7 of Keeping You
Years ago, when I was just Harper’s tagalong best friend, Luke had this way of making me feel seen. He’d seek me out when I was at their house, lean against doorframes when he talked to me, flash that crooked smirk that made my pre-teen and then teenage heart stutter. Every shared laugh, every moment he chose to spend with me instead of anyone else, fed the fantasy that maybe he felt something too.
God, I was so pathetic.
I even gave him a code name in my diary so Harper wouldn’t discover my obsession if she ever snooped. “Blue Eyes” filled page after page of my most secret thoughts. I convinced myself that the way he looked at me meant something special. That the attention he paid me was different from how he treated other girls. That our age difference didn’t matter.
I certainly spun a story for myself. Harper made it crystal clear that her brother was off-limits. And like the good little best friend I was, I buried my feelings so deep I almost convinced myself they’d never existed.
Almost.
“I’m sorry,” he says quietly, causing me to jump because the words are coming from too close behind me. Again. “I didn’t know.”
“Of course you didn’t. You haven’t been here.” I knock over a cup of pens in my agitation, sending them scattering across the desk. “Damn it.”
Before I can move, Luke is there, crouching down to collect the ones that fell to the floor. His fingers brush mine as he hands them back to me, and I jerk away like I’ve been burned.
“Sorry.”
“Don’t say that. “My voice is sharper than I intend. “Don’t?—”
The fire in his gaze heats my face. “Don’t what?”
I gesture helplessly between us. “This. Whatever this is. I’m not seventeen anymore, Luke. I’m not going to fall for those brooding looks and think you’re here to sweep me off my feet.” He didn’t even sweep me off my feet all those years ago. He happened to find me in a vulnerable moment, and the day just progressed from there, until I practically begged him to touch me like he did other girls. I even jumped into the back of his truck, under the stars… Shame heats my cheeks.
“That’s not what I’m doing.”
“Isn’t it?” I challenge, swallowing hard. “You show up out of nowhere, wanting to talk about the past. What am I supposed to think?”
“That I’m trying to make things right.”
“Some things can’t be made right.” I surge past him, needing distance. “You left, Luke. You left and you never looked back.”
“I had to leave.”
I whirl around to face him. “Had to? Or wanted to?”
“I made a mistake, Callie,” he admits, and the honesty in his voice catches me off guard. “Plenty of mistakes, actually.”
“Was I a mistake?” Pain slices through me.
“We were young. You were young, I shouldn’t have… you know.”
Anger makes my limbs rigid and my voice soft. “I didn’t do anything I didn’t want to do, Luke.” I thought he wanted it too.
“But I should have said no.”
Fighting tears, I grind my molars together. “So, I was a mistake. After you took my virginity and told me you’d be therefor me always.” It’s all I can do to not spit at him. “You lied. I was just an easy night for you. You just wanted to get laid one more time by a Cupid’s Creek girl before you hightailed it to the big city? Is that it?” A tear escapes and rolls down my cheek.
“No.”
“No, you lied, or no, you planned it all along?
“I didn’t lie. And I had no idea I was leaving town.”
“Right.”
“I was cheating on tests and stealing cars, Callie, and my dad caught me. How do you think that made him feel? He sent me to my uncle’s. “His voice is steady, matter-of-fact, like he’s rehearsed this conversation a million times. “He was former military and worked on the Chicago police force. My dad thought he could straighten me out. I went to college, then the police academy, and found a career I could be proud of.”
“How noble of you.” I can’t keep the sarcasm out of my voice. “And now you’re back because...?”
