Page 45 of Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World
“Why would they target you, I wonder?” His blue eyes narrowed. “You haven’t been up to anythingunusual, have you, Colin?”
I started to sweat as I held his gaze. “Unusual, sir? Nope. Just…normal things.”
He hummed thoughtfully. “Well, I do hope they don’t murder you, my boy. I’m afraid they’re rather like a particularly tenacious bloodhound. Once they have the scent, it’s difficult to shake them off.”
I didn’t know how to respond to that.
“Exciting times, I suppose!” he pronounced cheerily. “Thank you, Margaret. Good luck, Colin.” Then he turned and bustled away.
I spent the rest ofthe workday trying to get in touch with Eric. I wanted desperately to hear from him, if only to reassure myself that he was still out there somewhere, but my texts and calls went unanswered. By the time I packed up my things and shuffled to the elevators, I was utterly wrung out. For the first time since my promotion, I kind of missed being a lowly analyst in Human Resources. Life hadn’t been good, but it had been simple and relatively safe. How I wished my biggest worry was formatting spreadsheets.
Descending to the lobby, I was halfway across the polished stone floors when I caught sight of a familiar polyester skirt suit ahead of me—Ms.Kettering. My step faltered, but an instinctive rush of fear faded when I remembered that I no longer answered to her. Then, as I watched her push through the revolving doors, I remembered something else. It was Ms.Kettering who’d sent me to meet with the Thing in the first place. Did she know what it was? There was only one way to find out.
I caught up with her on the sidewalk outside as she walked toward a black town car waiting at the curb, her bouffant bobbingalong in time with her kitten heels, a slim pocketbook dangling from one shoulder pad of her purple blazer. “Ms.Kettering?”
She stopped and turned, already smiling below eyes as sharp as flensing knives. “Why, Colin,” she cooed in her singsong voice. “What a pleasant surprise. How are you enjoying life up on the thirteenth floor?”
“Oh, it’s great. Yeah. No problems at all.” I paused for breath. “Can I ask you about something that happened shortly before I left HR?”
“You were such a valued employee,” she interjected, as if she hadn’t been prepared to end my life. “We were sorry to lose you.”
“Uh, thanks. Do you remember when you sent me down to Transportation to fetch a visitor?” Her icy gaze didn’t waver. “I brought it up to your office, but then it disappeared?”
Her chunky plastic earrings swayed as she tilted her head. “You lost track of it, as I recall.”
I shifted my feet uncomfortably. “Right. Do you know what it was, exactly?”
Her smile widened. “Why do you wish to know?”
“Just curious,” I mumbled.
Ms.Kettering studied me while ordinary people walked past. “I don’t know what it was,” she said in her syrupy voice, “because I never spoke with it directly. It requested a meeting, and then asked that I send you, specifically, to meet it.”
A chill swept across my body. “It asked forme?”
Her shoulder pads lifted in a shrug. “Yes. It was a teensy bit unusual, but as you weren’t going to be with us for much longer, I thought, ‘Why not?’ ”
I stared at her.
“And then you defied all expectations by ascending to thirteen,”she went on, rouged cheeks stretching even further as she tried to make her smile look sincere. “A word of advice, Colin? Be careful. Margaret Crenshaw has a nasty habit of working her subordinates to death.”
Before I could reply, reality stuttered like celluloid film going askew in a projector, producing a moment of profound disorientation. Then everything straightened itself again and the Thing was there, hovering behind Ms.Kettering in its blood-colored suit, darkness swirling hungrily above the snowy collar of its shirt. My eyes widened and Ms.Kettering started to turn, sensing danger, but it was too late. Spindly hands wrapped around her polyester blend and lifted her smoothly off the sidewalk. Her pink lips fell open in surprise as her upper body arced backward and disappeared into those pulsing shadows, her pantyhose-clad legs kicking fruitlessly. Then the Thing gripped her ankles and shoved the rest of Ms.Kettering into its face.
Nothing moved. Traffic on East 54th had stopped and the pedestrians around us were frozen in midstride, unaware of what had transpired. Horrified, I staggered back as the Thing took a moment to adjust its suit jacket, debonair as ever.How delicious, it said in its hollow voice.She did such terrible things. There’s nothing like the suffering of innocents to add a little spice to one’s meal.
I was frightened out of my mind, and yet there was only one thing I wanted to know: Had it really chosen me? “Why—?” I started to ask before my voice failed.
I was hungry, and she’d served her purpose.The Thing bent its shoulders toward me in a solicitous gesture.Also, I didn’t like the way she treated you.
A hysterical laugh bubbled up from my chest. Fantastic—my guardian angel was a homicidal supernatural monster.
Rotating in the air, emaciated body tilting as if it was looking up at the building where I worked, it said,I’m not quite strong enough to breach their defenses again, so for now, I’m going to sample the grimy souls filling this city. But when I’m ready, I’ll drop by for a chat with your new boss.A note of anticipation entered its voice.I can’t wait. It’s going to be delectable.
Everything stuttered again and Midtown lurched back to life. I stood alone in the middle of the sidewalk while people hurried past, little more than ambulatory snacks for the monster I’d unleashed. A monster who’d beenright there, devouring my old boss.
A monster who’d asked for me by name.
Sixteen
