Page 32 of Colin Gets Promoted and Dooms the World
I didn’t know how to respond to that. “You said I was destined for greatness.”
And you’ve achieved it, by releasing me. You should be proud.
Curled on top of my bed, I stared up at the Thing. “You’re really going to devour everything, aren’t you?” I whispered.
Oh yes. I’ve been hungry for such a long time, but I’m determined to savor the experience. A nibble here, a taste there. I’ll speed up eventually—I won’t be able to help myself—but for now, I’m sampling the buffet you’ve laid out for me.Its slender form shifted in the darkness, turning to face the rest of the apartment.There’s a little snack just down the hall, isn’t there?
“You stay away from her!” I growled, my terror washed away by a sudden fury. Without thinking, I started to rise from the bed.
The Thing turned its attention back to me, blackness pouring from the collar of its shirt and coiling restlessly through the air of my bedroom.Maybe I’ll save her for the end, too. Would you like that? You can watch while I devour her, and then it will be your turn.
My clenched fists shook at my sides. “Leave her alone.”
Slowly, it drifted backward.Oh, she’s going to die. You’re all going to die. But not tonight.Hands clasped in front of its chest, it retreated into the shadows, sinking from view.Sweet dreams, Colin. I’ll be watching you.
Thirteen
I spent the rest ofthe night in our living room, huddled on the couch after turning on every light I could find. I’d tried to pretend that these disappearances were a minor inconvenience more than anything else—after all, they were happening to strangers. It was harder to do that, though, when a terrifying supernatural menace popped into your bedroom and told you that you’re responsible for the imminent annihilation of your entire species.
You’re all going to die.
Eventually, the day began. I went through the motions of getting ready for work, and on my way out of the apartment I paused in front of Amira’s bedroom door. She was still in there, I told myself. The Thing hadn’t taken her yet, and it never would, because I was going to stop it. Somehow. All I had to do was come up with a brilliant idea about how to save everyone.
I was still waiting for an epiphany when Ms.Crenshaw stepped out of her office after lunch. “We’re onboarding several big clients today, so I’ll be down on the seventh floor for the rest of theafternoon. You can use that time to practice your basic incantations. I want to see some improvement by the end of the day.” Then she was gone.
Dutifully, I got out my company-issued grimoire and ran through a couple of exercises. It would beso coolto bend the universe to my will, but this whole sorcery thing was a lot harder than I’d expected. Most of these incantations involved words devised by creatures with nonhuman vocal anatomies, which made pronunciation really tricky. I eventually garbled something badly enough that I set my bow tie on fire, followed by me screaming and running into the nearest bathroom and hurling water into my own face for several minutes.
The smoking remnants of my bow tie consigned to the trash, I decided to quit while I was still alive. I had more important things to worry about, like identifying the Thing and then heroically preventing it from killing everyone. Hurrying down to the Repository, I skipped the catalog this time and instead asked at the circulation desk where I might find Lex. The older woman behind the desk pursed her lips disapprovingly and pointed behind me, to a bright green mohawk stomping down a spiral staircase from the floor above.
I dashed across the atrium to intercept Lex. “Hi there!”
Pierced eyebrows drawing downward in irritated bemusement, Lex paused as they looked me over. “Oh, hey, I remember you. You’re the guy from thirteen who’s obviously in way over his head.”
“What? No. It’s me. Colin.”
“Yeah. That’s what I said.”
I tried not to take offense. “Look, I need to do someextremely importantresearch. Can you help me again?”
Exhaling, Lex ran both hands along the sides of their mohawk. Dressed in a baggy Black Sabbath T-shirt and ripped jeans, theycertainly looked nothing like the tweed-clad woman stationed at the circulation desk. Maybe that was why she was watching us beadily. “Dude, I can’t drop everything whenever you need help. I have stuff to do.”
I paused. “Okay, that’s fair,” I allowed. “And I apologize for expecting you to do that. But I don’t know where to start, and this project is, like, genuinely important.”
Studying me, they sighed again. “I just can’t say no to a lost cause,” they muttered.
“So you’ll help?” I asked excitedly.
“Yeah, I’ll help. But if Gertrude asks”—their eyes flicked to the woman still watching us—“I need you to tell her that you threatened me with evisceration or something, okay?”
“Deal.”
Lex shook their head resignedly. “What are you trying to find?”
I thought about it for a moment. “Well, there’s something out there that’s making people disappear, and I need to figure out exactly what it is.”
“That’s it? That’s all you’ve got?”
“Uh, yeah, mostly. But how hard can it be? There can’t bethatmany ways for people to disappear.”
