Page 32 of Rough Stock
“You’re not going to cause trouble for me,” he said, wrapping his arms around her and pulling her up against him. “Anybody doesn’t like you, they might as well not like me, because I sure as hell won’t stick around if you’re not welcome.”
“I’d say that’s good, except you have a nice family. I don’t want to be the one who causes them to think less of you.” Shyanna ran a finger down his chest before she looked up into his eyes, and what he saw in hers warmed him all over. “I want to be with you, but not if it will hurt you,” she said, her voice subdued.
“You don’t worry about me. I can take care of myself.” Jensen reached for the switch on the lamp and turned it off before scooting down under the covers, and Shyanna followed him down until her cheek rested on his chest. He stroked her hair and felt her relax against him. “Are you worried about going to practice tomorrow without me?”
“No,” she answered. Then she quietly added, “Maybe.”
“You’re in good hands with Roger. If I didn’t believe that, I wouldn’t let you go over there by yourself.”
“Okay. And I can kinda see what he’s talking about, even though I don’t think you’re a distraction,” Shyanna said, then rose up on her hands and threw an arm across him to brace herself. “Even if you were, you’re the right kind of distraction.”
The kiss she gave him lit him up, her lips salty and sweet, and Jensen kissed her back hungrily. But it wasn’t a crazy, sex-heavy kiss. It was the kiss of two people who cared for each other deeply and completely, and Jensen couldn’t believe he was making love with a woman like Shyanna. He couldn’t remember ever feeling for anyone what he felt for her, and he wanted to keep feeling that forever. There was no doubt in his mind that he would?Shyanna would never stop being determined, never give up, never back down. He loved all of that about her. All he could really hope for was to know that she felt loved and accepted, and to see her have a little fun in her life. Things had been far too serious for her. She deserved to smile and laugh.
But it was his turn to smile and laugh when she worked to get his boxer briefs off. When she had, she made a big production of mounting him. “My bucking bronco,” she whispered down to him.
“I promise I won’t try to buck you off,” he whispered back, trying hard not to laugh aloud. Three strokes in and she shucked the tee shirt she was wearing, treating him to the view of those gorgeous breasts bouncing with every stroke. Her thighs were warm and soft, and he dug his fingers into them as he wrapped his hands around them, encouraging her to go deeper and faster. He could smell her arousal, but there were also other scents resting there on her skin and filling the air around them, scents he loved, like the smell of fresh soap and expensive leather, old wood, and summer sunlight and fresh flowers. Those scents onlyproved to him that her essence was composed of all the things he held dear, and she represented home to him. How had he fallen so hard and so fast? Didn’t matter. He loved her. That was the only thing that really mattered.
As she rose and fell, his hand slipped between them, and every time she came down, his finger grazed that magic spot of hers, the one that made her weak when he touched it. Her movements became more wanton, wild, and uninhibited, and he found himself wishing they were in the bed in his little trailer. If she screamed out, everyone in the house would hear her, but part of him really didn’t give a flying fuck. Still moving against him, she leaned down to kiss him and when she pulled back, she stared down into his eyes, never missing a beat. “I want to be with you, Jensen,” she whispered, her voice hoarse with emotion, and he felt it rise in him too. “Please love me,” she pleaded.
“I do love you, Shy. I could never stop loving you.” He listened to her gasp with every stroke and smiled. Shyanna was abandoning herself to him, and he’d never wanted anything more in his life.
He waited until he felt her shudder and tighten around him before he rolled them to their sides and pressed into her, thrusting to let himself finish. She was still panting, her chest heaving, and he grabbed her hair and pulled it until her face was against his. Pressing her palms to his cheeks, she drew his lips to hers and kissed him again, a kiss he returned gently and with great pride. “I like this big bed,” she whispered into his neck as she relaxed against him.
“That’s funny. I was wishing we were in the trailer so you could scream and cry out all you wanted,” he said, his voice barely audible.
“Maybe someday we’ll have a big bed somewhere and we can enjoy it without having to be quiet,” she said, then giggled.
She giggled. That sound was music to his ears.Therewas the child Shyanna, the one who’d never gotten to laugh or play or giggle or be silly, the one who’d always had to be on guard to make sure nothing horrible happened to her while her drunken parents slept off their latest bender in the next room. “Maybe so. I’d like that. Don’t know where we’d have it, though. It would have to be somewhere that would be easy to get on the road from, because we’ll be traveling a lot.” A question seeped into his mind, and he decided he’d better ask it. “Shy, do you see yourself ever settling down in one place? Getting married? Having a kid or two?”
“Settling down in one place? I wouldn’t know how to do that, but I’d give it a shot. As for getting married, sure, if it’s the right guy. Wonder when I’ll meet him?” she said with a chuckle as she ran a finger down his nose, then let it fall to his lips. Of course, he obliged her by kissing that fingertip. “But kids? Never thought about it. I mean, my parents were shit. I’m guessing I’d be a shit parent because I have no idea what good parents do. I’d be the mom with the five-year-old boy who peeks under the stalls in the ladies’ room, or pees in the display toilets at the home improvement store, or opens a beer when I’m not looking and drinks it. That kind of shit parent, the one no kid needs.”
He hugged her a little tighter. “Oh, I don’t think so. I bet you’d be a great parent.”
“What would make you say that?” she scoffed.
“Because I’ve watched you with Rhubarb, and you love that horse. You take great care of her and coddle her and baby her. All marks of a great parent.”
“Yeah, and she doesn’t poop her pants, or ask for a birthday party, or… climb up in the middle of the kitchen table and eat a stick of butter.”
Jensen couldn’t help it?that one made him laugh. “Spoken like somebody who’s done that!”
“Maaaaybeeeee…” When he looked down at her, she rolled her eyes and giggled again.
“I bet you were…” Jensen had to stop and try to force back the tears pooling in his eyes and the raw emotion in his throat. “I bet you were a beautiful little girl,” he managed to say, thankful he hadn’t completely broken down.
“I was a dirty little girl. I never had clean clothes and I stank to high heaven. Half the time we didn’t have running water or electricity. Most of the time there was no food in the house. I used to raid the neighbors’ garbage cans and eat what they threw out. Several times a year I got food poisoning, but at least while I was in the hospital, I had something clean to wear, a place to shower, and decent food to eat.”
“But your grandparents…” Jensen said, wondering where they fit in.
“They tried, but they’d just about get me to a stable point and then my parents would come and drag me back. They didn’t want me, but they didn’t want anybody else to have me. About once a year, my AuntJessi would come and get me and keep me for two weeks. She’d tell my folks she was taking me to vacation bible school, but we were really just staying at her house. We’d make cookies and she’d buy me clothes and feed me really good food. When she had to take me back, she’d always say, ‘Now, Shy, if you need me, you just call me.’ But we didn’t have a phone, so I couldn’t.”
“Your grandparents?were they your mother’s parents?”
“No, my dad’s. And Jessi was my mother’s sister. I don’t even know if she’s still alive,” she said, her voice sad. “If she is, she wouldn’t have a clue how to go about finding me.”
Find out about Jessi, Jensen told himself. He wasn’t sure how to go about it, but there had to be a way. “Maybe someday we can find her.”
“I’d like that.” He could feel her shift around a bit. “Clock says it’s twelve twenty-two. I’ve got to get some sleep if I’m going to ride a bull tomorrow morning.”
