Page 60 of Loyalty, Lust, Love
“Lynx, seriously? We fucked up, that’s how it happened.”
“Are you sure? Have you been taking your pills? Did you go to the doctor?”
“Yes, to all of that. The doctor said I was nine weeks. I thought I had a bug, but apparently, it’s a baby.”
Fateema knew something was going on with her body. On top of feeling sick, she’d been tired and sluggish. Her mood was horrible, but she blamed it on the disappointment of not qualifying for indoor nationals.
She also hadn’t practiced or competed well for the last few weeks, which prevented her from being chosen to travel with her team for spring break. Everything was going wrong, and she struggled to figure out how to get her mojo back.
“Shit,”
“Yeah, shit.”
“What are you gonna do?”
“What am I gonna do? Did you mean, what arewegonna do?”
“I mean, yeah, but it’s your body.”
“I know, but it’sourbaby. I can’t make a decision like this alone.”
“I’m not expecting you to, but…”
“This is a lot, Lynx, and we don’t have much time to figure this out.”
“I support whatever decision you make. You have a lot more to consider than I do.”
They sat in silence for a while, staring into each other’s eyes through the phone screen, neither knowing what to say. When tears began to roll down Fateema’s cheeks, it broke Lynx’s heart.
“Baby, please don’t cry.”
“I don’t know what else to do. I never expected to have to choose to have or abort my baby.”
“It’sourbaby, and I’m sorry.”
There was another round of silence before Fateema began to cry uncontrollably and ended the call. Lynx called back repeatedly, but she sent him to voicemail every time before eventually turning her phone off.
It was wrong to shut him out, but she needed time to process and figure out what she wanted to do. Having a baby was a responsibility she wasn’t prepared for, but the thought of aborting the baby that she and Lynx created was almost unbearable.
For the next few days, Fateema ignored all communication from Lynx. When she finally responded to him in their text thread, it was only to share her decision and plans with him. She didn’t read any of his texts. She prayed he’d find a way to come to Houston to support her through this.
Fateema was upset about not being chosen to travel with her team for spring break, but it worked in her favor because of her situation. She hoped there would be enough time to recover physically, although mentally and emotionally, she was prepared for it to be a challenge.
Her roommate traveled with the team, and when Fateema told her she wasn’t planning to go home for the week, Jayla was gracious enough to lend Fateema her car. It made getting around so much easier during such a trying time. After a quick stop at the grocery store to get some essentials that the doctor said would be helpful over the next few days, she stopped at The Burger Joint and ordered a bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a strawberry shake. It wasn’t as good as her favorite spot in Chicago, but when she indulged, it served its purpose.
When she finished eating, she went to her doctor’s appointment and was a ball of nerves. Although Dr. Cincy wasn’t her gynecologist, she’d been beyond helpful since the positive pregnancy test. She took her time explaining everything Fateema needed to know and didn’t make her feel bad for her decision. Before she left the doctor’s office, she took the first pill to start the process.
Twenty minutes later, she checked into the hotel she’d booked with her newly acquired credit card. Unfortunately, she couldn’t stay in her dorm because they were closed for break. She left Lynx’s name with the hotel front desk attendant and requested that a key to her room be given to him if he showed up.
She took a long, hot shower when she got to her room, allowing her tears to mix with the water. When she finished, she took the second pill prescribed by the doctor. Almost as soon as she swallowed, she felt sick, and the tears began again. She crawled into bed, hugged a pillow, and cried herself to sleep.
Hours later, she was awakened by a set of arms wrapping around her body from behind. Immediately, she felt a sense of relief because God heard her prayers.
“Lynx?” she questioned, although she knew it couldn’t be anyone but him.
“I’m here, Bunny. What do you need from me?”
She turned around in his arms to face him before responding. “You. I just need you. Thank you for coming.”
