Page 201 of Ice Darling
Mom stands.
I stand with her.
“Can I…give you a hug?” Mom asks hesitantly.
I dip my head once.
Mom wraps her arms around me and rubs my back. Her perfume transports me to my childhood. Strangely, it’s not a memory of her abandoning me for Gwen. It’s of her teaching me how to ride a bicycle for the first time.
“It’s okay to fall, Delia. Don’t cry. Mommy will protect you.”
I blink, astonished that I remember a time when Mom fussed over me the way she fussed over Gwen. I’d blocked out thememories of her being nice to me, choosing instead to hold onto those of her ignoring me.
Now that I think about it, I wasn’t born as the “tough” twin. There was a time when she was the soft, gentle mother I always craved.
Mom brushes my hair behind my ear. “My words always seem to come out wrong, so I’m just going to say, I’m sorry. And that I love you. And I know I’m a bad mom. That’s why you left.” She pulls back and looks at me, her eyes filling with tears. “My darling girl. Can you forgive me?”
I meet her eyes, my own tears welling.
Before I met Gordie, it would have been a hard and certain “no.” I would have held on to my hatred for my mother and my bitterness at how she treated both me and Gwen differently.
However, I imagine that one day, Gordie will meet her mom again. And I don’t want her to be like me, to get on her bike and ride away in anger and pain. The weight of that hatred is too much for a person to carry.
Renthrow’s voice filters through my head.I’m going to show my daughter how she should be treated and how she should treat others. I’ll lead by example.
I inhale deeply. “I forgive you, Mom.”
Mom lets out a breathy laugh and kisses my cheek and then hugs me. “I love you. I’ll be back soon. And…maybe I can take you to dinner? It’ll be a seafood feast. I promise.”
“I’d like that.”
Chapter Sixty-Eight
Cordelia
The video on my phone is a ghost. It whispers through my mind. It follows me as I catch a cab back to Lucky Falls. It taps on my shoulder when I return to the workshop and update Rebel, April, and May about my shopping trip with Gordie.
My bossesdemandpictures.
I show off all the pretty shots of Gordie in her princess dress. They marvel at how adorable she is, and I feel a sense of pride even though I contributed the least to her makeover.
Then I swipe a picture too far.
On my screen is a frozen picture of Gwen in a yellow dress and a play button.
“Ooh.” Rebel pounces on me. “Did you take a video? I want to see?” The smile drops from her face when she notices Gwen on the screen.
Feeling exposed, I tuck the phone in my back pocket.
Rebel and April get that familiar look of concern again. They exchange glances in a way that I’m starting to realize is code forshould we push her or not?
May glances between us. “Why is everyone acting so weird?”
“May,” April warns in a scolding tone.
“What? Wasn’t that a video of Delia? I saw her face on the screen.”
“Have you finished logging those customer emails in the database? If you want to work here after you graduate, you need to actuallywork.” April takes her sister by the shoulder and steers her in the opposite direction.
