Page 52 of Welcome Home, Cowboy
She nodded, chewing thoughtfully.
He watched her, remembering what she’d told him about her ex. He wanted to kick the guy’s ass. Any man who got to date Julie was lucky. She was everything he would’ve been searching for—if he were searching. She was the right woman at the wrong time.
“What are you thinking?” she asked, poking him softly a moment later. “You look like you’re a million miles away.”
He took another bite of his sandwich. A million miles away. That’s how far he needed to get right about now before he said or did something stupid, like pushed their status from friends and lovers to something very different. Because he was crazy about her. “I’m thinking it’s time for me to get back to work.” He pushed his chair back and stood abruptly. “Let me know if you hear anything about Mr. Banks.”
Julie nodded, pushing her own plate aside. “I will.”
He narrowed his gaze on hers. “He’d be a fool not to keep your program going. You know that, right?”
“Right. We’ll see.”
He wanted to put his arms around her, kiss her, and then take her to bed. He wanted to make her feel better. “I’ll talk to you later,” he whispered instead, keeping his voice low so that he didn’t disturb Sabrina.
He climbed into his truck and headed back over the bridge toward Camp Leon to finish off his workday. After that he’d stop back by Beth’s to shovel out the barns. Then maybe he’d follow that up with a little yoga on his own.
How on earth had he become one of those yogi people? Cowboys didn’t do yoga. They roped cattle. Rode horses. Hung out in bars and admired all the pretty women. Marines didn’t do yoga. They trained. They fought. They swore to serve their country. They shouted “Oo-rah!” They didn’t chant “Om.”
But he liked this thing he had going with Julie. Every bit of it.
He parked and walked inside the brick building he’d been frequenting once a week for the last month.
Dr. Pierce looked up as he knocked on her office door. “This isn’t your normal day,” she said, concern knitting the skin between her brows.
Lawson shrugged. “I know. I wasn’t sure if you’d have time to see me, but I thought I’d check.”
“I don’t have time, but sit down anyway,” she said, gesturing toward the empty chair in front of her desk. “I’m assuming you have something pressing you want to talk about.”
“More like a question.” He sat, leaned forward, and clasped his hands in his lap. “When will I be done, with the nightmares and stuff? When will I be ready to move on?” His gaze flittered up. “To start dating?”
“So you’ve met someone?” she asked, a soft smile curling her lips. “Do you think you’re ready for a relationship, Captain Phillips?”
He shrugged a shoulder. “What are they paying you for if you can’t answer the hard questions?”
The woman folded her hands on the desk in front of her. “To be perfectly honest, you’ve been coming to see me for a few weeks now and you haven’t told me much of anything. Are you talking to anyone about what you’ve been through?”
He stared at her.
“Your silence tells me that you aren’t. So, my answer, Captain Phillips, is no. I don’t think you’re ready to open your heart to someone. Not unless you’re willing to tell them exactly what’s on your mind and what you’re dealing with. And then let them decide if they’re willing to deal with it with you. Because in a relationship you deal with things together, not solo. And I don’t think you’re there yet.”
Lawson cleared his throat and stood. “Well, thank you for your professional opinion.” He turned toward the door.
“That’s it?” Dr. Pierce asked behind him.
He stopped walking. “No.” He glanced back. “I think I should’ve asked this question sooner. It’s a little too late at this point.”
“Captain Phillips?” she called again.
He took another step and stopped.
“We’ll talk more about this at your scheduled appointment on Wednesday.”
He glanced over his shoulder at her, chewing on his thoughts. Maybe Dr. Pierce was right. Maybe it was time he started working on his issues. Staying in Seaside for Beth and Sabrina were definitely motivators for him to do whatever it took to get back in the sky. But maybe there was more than that in Seaside for him now. Or maybe there could be if he got his shit together.
With a nod he walked out of her office.
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