Page 89 of The Long Game
“I’m bisexual. Just to be clear.” He said it casually, as if he said those words all the time. He’d barely said them ever.
She nodded. “What has it been like, being a bisexual NHL player?”
Ilya shrugged. “Normal. I don’t advertise it.”
“It’s never been an issue?”
“No.” Ilya frowned. He was lying, which was pointless here. “Well, yes. It’s made it hard to be...” He wasn’t sure how much he should reveal here. His therapist was sworn to secrecy. This was a safe space. But he still felt like he should have Shane’s permission to talk about their relationship to someone else. So, he said, “I’m...seeing someone. In secret.”
“A man,” she guessed.
“Yes.”
“For how long?”
Ilya almost laughed. “Ten years, give or take.”
For the first time during their session, Galina looked surprised.
“Off and on,” Ilya explained. “It was casual for years. Secret hookups, that sort of thing. But then I fell in love with the guy.”
“And...did he feel the same?”
Ilya couldn’t stop the giddy smile that spread across his face. “He did. He does.”
She acknowledged his smile with one of her own. “How does your relationship work now?”
“We see each other when we can. He lives in...a place not too far away from here. We’re both busy, but we spend as much time together as we can. Especially in the—” Ilya cut himself off. He was revealing too much.
“In the summers?” Galina guessed. “When you aren’t playing hockey.”
“Right. Yes.”
A silence hung in the room, heavy and full of mutual understanding. She knew who his boyfriend was, and she knewheknew. And no one had to ever say his name aloud.
“So,” Ilya said. “That’s another thing. In my life.”
“Does anyone know?”
“A few people. His parents know. Maybe five other people besides. Mostly Sh—” He pressed his lips together just in time. “Mostly his friends.”
“None ofyourfriends?”
“Not yet. No.”
“That doesn’t sound even. He has more support than you do in this.”
Ilya knew that. Of course it had occurred to him. Sometimes he was even angry about it. “I know.”
“Who would you tell, if you could?”
Everyone. Ilya would tell the whole world if he could. “I don’t know. My teammates might not understand. I don’t have many friends who aren’t teammates.”
“There are other queer NHL players,” she said. “And ex-NHL players. Are you friends with any of them?”
“Some. Sort of. I think even they would be bothered by—” He caught himself. After a moment’s hesitation, though, he decided there was no point in pretending she didn’t already know the next part. “By rival players secretly dating. A gay hockey player is still a hockey player, and there are unofficial rules. A code.”
“Are thereofficialrules?”
