Page 49 of The Long Game
“Not really, no.”
“You okay with that?”
Shane took advantage of the fact that he’d just popped a chunk of tuna in his mouth and took his time answering. Most days, he thought he was fine with hiding. They had a long-range plan, and Shane wanted to stick to it. That was easy, and organized. And safe. But some days...
“It would be nice to be open about our relationship. Most of the time the hiding doesn’t bother me, but sometimes the unfairness of it all makes me furious. The other guys on the team get to talk about their wives and girlfriends, and have them come to team events and stuff. They have kids and, I don’t know,livesbeyond hockey that they can be proud of. I want that.”
“And what doeshewant?”
“I don’t know. The same, I think.” Shane nudged some fish around with his chopsticks. The restaurant had allowed him to substitute the rice for extra kale, which was nice, but also sucked. “He said he wants to wait, but he’s also said he’d come out anytime, if I wanted it.”
Rose reached across the table and poked him in the arm. “He loves you so much!”
Shane turned the color of his raw tuna. “I know. I’m lucky.”
“Do you want my advice? As a person whose entire life is under a microscope?”
“Sure.”
“Do what makes you happy. Live how you want, love who you want. People will judge you, hate you, criticize you, but plenty more will support you and love you. And, in the end, no one matters except the people you care about. Your parents support you, your best friends support you. Who are you really worried about?”
“I don’t know. The league? The fans? My teammates?”
“Your teammates know you’re gay, though, right?”
Shane nodded.
“Anyone being an asshole about it?”
“No. I mean, I can tell some of them don’t love it, but they keep quiet about it. I don’t know if even the openly supportive guys would be okay with me and, um...y’know.”
“What about your agent? Does your agent know?”
“We told her in the summer.”
“Good. You want your agent on your side if things go sideways. Trust me.”
Shane picked up a chunk of fish, then put it down. “Do you think things will go sideways? Are people going to figure us out?”
She smiled sadly at him. “I’m not saying it’s impossible for you guys to keep this secret for as long as you want to, but...”
“Not likely?”
She wrinkled her nose and shook her head. “Sorry, buddy.”
Shane sighed. “Then we should make a plan B, I guess.”
“I’d recommend it. Always plan for the worst and hope for the best.”
Damn. Shane really didn’t want to have to think about the possibility of their relationship being outed. Not more than he already thought about it, anyway.
“What about you?” he asked, hoping to change the subject. “You seeing anyone?”
“Nah. I sort of had a thing going with a pro surfer, but he was alot. Always wanted to talk about deep shit for hours. It was intense. And boring.”
“Sorry.”
“I think I want to find a nice, normal guy, y’know? No celebrities. I want to meet, like, a bookstore owner.”
