Page 35 of The Long Game
Ilya sat next to him. “I have mine still, in my trophy room at home.”
“That room must be very full,” Luca said earnestly.
Ilya grinned. “Very. But the first goal puck is my favorite.”
Luca’s cheeks pinked, making him look even younger than he was. “Really?”
“Yes. Because it was the beginning, you know? Soon you will have a room full of NHL pucks and trophies, but—” Ilya picked up the puck “—it all started with this one.”
Luca ducked his head. “I wish we had won the game.”
Ilya almost made a joke about how Luca would get used to losing soon, but that wasn’t the message he wanted to send to his rookie. “Me too.” He poked Luca’s arm. “Are you going to Monk’s?”
Luca’s eyes went wide. “Areyou?”
It hurt Ilya’s heart how badly this kid wanted him to come out with the team. How much it would mean to him. He knew Luca had idolized him growing up; he’d read the interviews.
But Ilya just...couldn’t. Not tonight. He didn’t have the energy to even fake it tonight.
“Next time,” he said with a weak attempt at a smile.
Later, in bed, Ilya couldn’t get his brain to shut up. It was unfortunate because his brain had nothing nice to say about him.
He knew, rationally, that he wasn’t worthless. He was an NHL all-star, the captain of his team, and was beloved by fans. He had a wonderful boyfriend who loved him so much he waswilling to endure a lot of stress and sneaking around just to be with him. He wasloved.
But he wasn’t sure he deserved to be. He couldn’t make himself believe that. Not right now.
He wished Shane was with him. They’d only been apart for two days, but Ilya would give anything to have Shane in his arms right now.
Weak.His brain said it in his father’s voice. Disgusted and cruel.
Ilya grabbed his phone off the nightstand. Maybe hewasweak, but he needed whatever he could get from Shane right now. A sleepy selfie. A good-night text. A heart emoji. Anything.
Early the next morning, Shane woke to find a missed text on his phone, sent after one A.M.
Ilya:Are you awake?
Shane huffed and shook his head. Was Ilyaevernot horny?
Chapter Eight
Ilya had a decision to make.
He could play it safe and take the sure thing, or he could risk it all for a shot at glory.
No decision at all, really. He rolled the dice.
“But that was a full house,” Yuna pointed out.
Ilya rolled two dice onto the table. “And now it is four threes.” He picked up the one nonconforming die and kissed it before rolling it.
“No!” said David as soon as the die came to a stop.
“Shit,” said Yuna.
“Yahtzee!” Ilya yelled. He raised his arms in triumph.
“I don’t know why we invite you over,” Yuna grumbled.
