Page 144 of The Long Game
A few minutes later, Troy stood on the bench in his stall and tried to get the room’s attention. It didn’t quite work, so Ilya decided to help. “Everyone shut up and listen to Barrett.”
The room got very quiet as everyone turned their attention to Troy. Ilya could only think of one thing that Troy could be announcing, with Harris at his side, so he held his breath and waited.
“Just one thing,” Troy said. “I’m dating Harris. We’re together. I’m gay.”
Ilya had to respect how efficient the speech was. He began to clap loudly, and everyone else joined in, cheering and whooping. Ilya loved this team. He watched Troy step down off the bench and into Harris’s arms. Then he bent Harris backward and kissed the hell out of him, in front of everyone.
Ilya’s heart twisted, partly with happiness, partly with jealousy. He was thrilled for Harris and Troy, but at the same time he knew he’d never get a locker room full of hockey players cheering for his and Shane’s relationship. And of course he shouldn’t resent Troy for being able to come out, announce hisrelationship with Harris, and basically adopt a wonderful dog all on the same day.
“It’s okay,” he said to Chiron in Russian. “My day is coming.”
But he wondered sometimes, even with Shane’s ring hanging around his neck, whether he was fooling himself.
“I thought you’d given up on me,” Galina said, in Russian, as she waved Ilya into her office.
“Sorry,” Ilya said. He’d let five weeks go by without an appointment because he’d been feeling more like his old self. He’d been hoping, absurdly, he knew, that he was fixed. But seeing Troy and Harris kissing in the team locker room had sent him spiraling back to a dark place, so he’d made an appointment.
“Busy?” she asked as she sat in her chair opposite the couch.
“Yes,” Ilya said, taking his usual place on the center cushion. “We might be heading to the playoffs, if you can believe it.”
“I know, I’ve been following. It’s very exciting, as a fan.”
Ilya smiled. “And as a player.”
“So hockey is good,” she prompted.
“Hockey is great. I’m having fun again.” He looked away from her. “I thought, maybe, that would be enough.”
“You thought you didn’t have to see me anymore because you felt happier.”
“Yes.” He forced himself to look at her. “Stupid. I know.”
Her lips curved up. “I wish it were that easy.”
“Me too.”
“I take it your good mood didn’t last?”
“Not exactly, no. I’m still having fun playing hockey, and I love the time Shane and I have together. And I’m...” He paused,but decided he should probably tell her this. “I’m engaged. He asked me to marry him, and I said yes.”
“Congratulations.”
Ilya nodded. “It’s everything I want, and we are planning to come out this summer and maybe get married then too. No more waiting until we are both retired.”
Galina made notes and said, “This is a big change for you guys.”
“Huge,” Ilya agreed. “I’m excited and happy, but I’m also scared.”
“Of how people will react?”
Ilya pressed his fingers to the ring that lay hidden under his T-shirt. “I’m scared Shane will change his mind. Or that he won’t, and it will affect his career, and he will hate me for it. Maybe not for a while, but eventually.”
“Does it seem likely that he’ll change his mind?”
“I don’t know,” Ilya said honestly. “He spooks easily, sometimes. Panics.”
“But he proposed to you. That probably wasn’t a decision he made lightly.”
