Page 111 of The Long Game
So they can fucking meet my boyfriend, Ilya wanted to scream. But instead, he kept his tone light and said, “They are cool people. You might have fun.”
“But...wouldn’t it be weird, if we showed up together?”
Ilya shrugged easily, as if this was a normal thing for him to suggest. “They know you would be in Ottawa for Christmas. We are friends, so I invite you to a party. No big deal.”
Shane’s face scrunched up in confusion, then he shook his head. “Too weird. I don’t think so.”
The dismissal, though expected, irritated Ilya. No, irritated was too small a word—itinfuriatedhim. For a moment, Ilya didn’t react. He stared at Shane, stony-faced, while anger scorched through him like lava. Then, before he said anything he may regret, he stood up and walked out of the living room.
Shane caught up with him in the kitchen. “You can go,” he said. “It’s fine.”
“Great,” Ilya snapped.
“What’s wrong?” Shane sounded so genuinely clueless about why Ilya might want him to meet his friends that it only angered Ilya further.
“What isn’t wrong?”
“What doesthatmean?”
Ilya spun around to face him. “It means I have a boyfriend who doesn’t want anyone to know I am his boyfriend.”
Shane’s eyes widened in surprise. “Uh, sorry. Did I miss something? I thought we were on the same page about this.”
“We are not on the same anything.”
“I don’t fucking understand you.”
“Sorry,” Ilya said sardonically. “My English, you know.”
“That’s not what I—” Shane threw his hands up. “Could you please explain what the fuck is happening? Because last I checked we didn’t go to each other’s team parties. Or tell anyone about our relationship.”
“No.Idon’t tell anyone about our relationship. You tell Hayden, and Jackie, and Rose, and your parents, and who the fuck knows who else.”
“That’s literally everyone! You know that.”
“It is five more people than I have told,” Ilya said, omitting his therapist, because that was a whole other conversation.
“What about...” Shane waved a hand around as he searched for a name. “Ryan Price?”
“Oh yes. My best friend Ryan Price. I have not talked to him since the last camp.”
“Well—” Shane didn’t seem to have anything to add to that.
“I haveno one,” Ilya said. “No one I can talk to about us.”
“That’s not true. My parents love you.”
Ilya threw his head back and walked to the living room. Shane followed immediately.
“It’s not easy for me either, you know,” Shane said, clearly angry now. “We’re both hiding, and we’ve both made sacrifices that—”
Ilya spun around. “What sacrifices, Shane? What haveyougiven up?”
“Seriously? If we get outed, our fucking careers might be over! Everything I care about—” Shane snapped his fingers “—gone.”
“Everything,” Ilya said flatly.
Shane rolled his eyes. “Noteverything. But hockey is pretty fucking important to me.”
