Page 44 of The Games We Play
How she knew was a mystery I couldn’t solve, but I understood now.
Penny was silent, her gaze unfocused, drifting just past me. I couldn’t look away from her. I could see the tension in her shoulders, the way her chest rose and fell with every breath, as if she were holding herself together by sheer force of will.
Her eyes flickered to mine, and my heart slammed in my chest.
“Did you love her?”
That four-word question was a punch to my gut, nearly knocking me off my chair.
Love?
Fuck no.
My face fell to a soft, vulnerable expression. “No. Nothing even close to that ever happened between us. I didn’t even know what it felt like to lovesomeone before. Now I?—”
She held up a hand and looked away from me, her throat bobbing as she swallowed.
“I’m so fucking sorry, Pen.” My voice cracked, the words getting caught in the tightness of my throat. “If I ever thought it would hurt you… I wouldn’t have done it. I swear, I wouldn’t have?—”
I stopped, the weight of my mistakes crashing over me. I placed my hands on my face, the exhaustion of it all sinking deep into my bones. I had fucked this up. I had hurt her—ruinedus—and I didn’t know if I could ever forgive myself, even if she found a way to forgive me.
I couldn’t even look at her anymore. I was a coward who had stayed silent for too long.
“I know…” she said softly, her voice carrying the weight of everything she was feeling. “I know you feel bad, guilty, but that doesn’t change how hurt I am.”
I nodded, because honestly, it was all I could do.
“You broke my trust, Mac. Do you have any idea what it was like for me to open that door, wearing nothing but your shirt andathongto see another woman standing there?” She tilted her head, her eyes searching mine, daring me to understand. “Put yourself in my position.”
“I—I can’t imagine.” The words felt hollow, inadequate against how she was feeling, but they were the only honest response I had.
“And then… to find out she was yourwife?” Penny’s voice cracked, the last word drenched in venom.
Fuck.
My chest tightened, a sharp, unforgiving pressure that made it hard to breathe. The weight pressed down like a boulder, threatening to crush me from the inside out.
“You never once came to talk to me.” Her voice trembled slightly, but she held firm, unyielding. “You sent me a text a whole damn day later, like nothing happened.” She sucked in a sharp breath, her arms tightening around herself. “It made me feel… disposable. Like everything we shared for those months, everything I thought we were meant nothing.”
“That’s the farthest thing from the truth,” I rasped, my voice hoarse with desperation.
She studied me, her expression unreadable. Those chestnut eyes locked on mine with an intensity that told me she had already made up her mind.
“I know I was a coward,” I admitted, the words tasting bitter in my mouth. “I was stupid to pretend like everything was fine, that I didn’t know what was going on. But I didn’t know what to do. You left, and?—”
Penny’s hands slammed down on the table.
The glass near her rattled, liquid sloshing dangerously close to the rim.
I stilled, watching as she reached out and tapped the surface again, punctuating each word with a sharp, deliberate strike.
“I left because the thought of having to confront you, having to see your stupid face fucking destroyed me.”
The pain in her voice shredded through me, leaving nothing but raw, exposed nerves in its wake.
Without thinking, I reached for her, my fingers brushing against hers before settling gently over them. The contact sent a jolt through my system, dragging me back to the nights we’d spent tangled in each other, her skin beneath mine, her laughter filling this very apartment.
“Then tell me,” I whispered, leaning closer, needing her to feel the sincerity in every syllable. “Tell me what I have to do to make you believe me. Believe that everything we hadmeantsomething to me. Believe how fucking sorry I am.”
