Page 91 of Love Deep
“Make me a promise,” she says as our breathing returns to normal.
“Anything,” I say, and in that moment, I mean it.
“Promise me that at the end of tonight, we can pretend that I’ll see you tomorrow. I don’t want to say goodbye.”
I tighten my arms around her. “I promise. You’re incredible. You’ve changed me forever,” I confess. “I didn’t realize I’d ever be able to feel… like this.” She’s asked me not to give her hope. I get that. There’s no point. And I don’t want to make our situation feel more biting than it already does, but I owe her the truth. I want her to know that she’s come to mean more to me in a few weeks than any woman ever has. “You are talented and kind and I’m… you’re the kind of woman?—”
She shifts, and it stops me in my tracks. She turns in my arms and we lock eyes. She shakes her head and presses her lips against mine, stopping me from saying any more. Stopping me from telling her how my heart feels like it’s cracking in two at the thought of leaving. Stopping me from telling her that I think I’m in love with her.
I don’t know what’s worse—having to live with knowing I love someone I can’t be with or never having met them in the first place.
There’s no point in railing against inevitability. I press my lips against hers and allow myself to melt into the moment.
THIRTY-TWO
Juniper
I can’t get myself together today. The morning routine usually runs like a well-oiled machine, but today I feel like I’m trying to catch water in a colander. All I can think about is Fisher driving off in Byron’s truck after he’d dropped me home last night, and he yelled out the window, “See you tomorrow.”
We promised each other no goodbyes. And he fulfilled his promise.
His words still hit like a sucker punch to my gut, and I collapsed on the porch crying.
I’ve just got to get through the next few days. I need to put on a brave face for Riley until the weekend and then I can retreat and… regroup. Rebuild myself.
“Do you have your backpack?” I yell. “And did you brush your teeth?”
Riley bounds out of her bedroom, baring her teeth. “Teeth are clean and backpack is by the door.” She skirts around me, heading into the kitchen.
I turn, following her. “And what about your lunch?—”
She’s already at the refrigerator. “Got it, Mom. What’s with you this morning?”
I shake my head and grab my keys and sunglasses. “Nothing. I just didn’t sleep very well.”
“You’ll be able to sleep in this weekend.” Riley’s excited that her dad is back in Star Falls, starting on Saturday for the start of Riley’s summer vacation. It couldn’t have come at a better time. I need to get into the studio and let out all my feelings onto the canvas. Then maybe all these conflicting feelings I’m having about Fisher will stop churning inside me. “Are you going to paint?” she asks.
“Come on,” I say, heading out the door. “We need to leave for school.”
“But, Mom, are you going to paint?” She looks a little distressed.
“Yeah. I guess. Why?”
“I’m going to be with Dad for nearly two whole weeks when school is closed. You won’t have work to keep you busy, and I don’t want you to be lonely. Especially now that Fisher’s gone.”
My heart snags at her concern for me. I ruffle her hair and nod toward the car.
Riley said her goodbyes to Fisher when he came to pick me up for our final date last night. He handled it expertly, just telling her that he’d see her around. I think she expects that he’ll be back next week. But he won’t, and I need to come to terms with that.
“I’ll be fine,” I say reassuringly. “It’s not like tidying up this place is going to take me an hour. I have plenty to do. Don’t you worry about that.”
She grins at me as she gets into the back seat. “Dad says we can gofishing.”
“He’s taking you to the lake?”
“Yeah, and he says we can camp and stay overnight and stuff.”
Shit. He should have discussed that with me. He’s not exactly a mountain man. I’m not sure if he’s capable of spending the night in a tent. He was always very particular about his bedtime routine.
