Page 30 of Love Deep
“Right.”
“Or pollution.”
“Or the ability to get takeout twenty-four hours a day.”
“I’ll take clean air over twenty-four-hour takeout.”
Fisher chuckles. “You’re right. I guess what I mean is that New York isn’t just like any city. There’s a place foreveryone there. You don’t have to pretend to be anyone because everyone is welcome.”
“Huh,” I reply. “That’s a really nice way of describing a place.”
“It’s true. New York is a cornucopia of the world. And that’s what makes it so fascinating. You never know who you’re going to meet.”
“That’s definitely not the case with Star Falls.” I can’t help but laugh at myself. “I definitely know who I’m going to meet on any given day. Or at least I have a good idea.”
“Have you known everyone in this town your whole life?” he asks.
“Pretty much. Some move away for college and come back. The odd ones leave completely.”
“You never moved away for college?”
I pause. Am I going to get into this with Fisher? I stare at him. He’s got the prettiest blue eyes I’ve ever seen. They’re warm and inviting. They make me want to share all my stories.
“I thought about going to art school. No, I didn’t just think about it. I really wanted to go to art school.” I take a breath. “I got accepted into a great program in New York. One of the best in the country. Even got a full scholarship.” I try and keep my voice steady. “But I got pregnant just as my acceptance form was due.”
Fisher frowns. “With Riley?”
I shake my head. “No, not with Riley. I lost the baby at six months.”
It’s been a long time, and I’m past the devastation the miscarriage created. But I don’t think I’ll ever be truly over it. Every year on my due date, I want to shut myself away and cry. And paint. And cry some more.
“I’m so sorry,” he says, his eyes full of concern.
“It was tricky. And then all I was focused on was getting pregnant again. I wanted so desperately to fill the gap the miscarriage had left. I think I put too much pressure on myself, and I couldn’t get pregnant, but I couldn’t think about anything else. Art school wasn’t a possibility then, even though I could have probably applied again and gotten in for the following year. It wasn’t what I wanted at that point. I wanted a baby. A baby to make up for the baby I’d lost. A baby to take away the pain.”
Fisher sighs. “That’s tough.”
“Yeah, it was difficult. And I was young. Really young. It’s weird. When you’re that young, you don’t realize how the decisions you make then can affect the rest of your life. I didn’t really comprehend the impact of the decisions I was making back then. Not that I regret any of them. Riley’s the best thing in my life, but having her meant I gave up the idea of having an art career.”
Fisher just nods.
I smile up at him. “Our lives couldn’t be more different, right? Where did you go to college? Yale?”
“I’m not some trust-fund guy,” he says. “I’ve worked hard for what I’ve got.” He smiles at me. “Different lives—you’re right. But we have a lot of things that… overlap.”
Our gazes lock.
I can’t help it. Suddenly, I burst into laughter. “What are we doing?”
Fisher’s smiling at me like he seems to whenever I laugh. I’ve noticed that when I smile, he wears this expression, like watching me is makinghimsmile, and it makes me feel warm and good, and I want more of it.
“Having a picnic by the falls,” he suggests. “Enjoying each other’s company. I like you, Juniper.”
I press my lips together, trying not to grin like I’mfourteen and my pop-star crush just told me he liked me. “I like you too, Fisher.”
“But you’re right, I’m not living here in Star Falls. It’s not like we can…”
“Turn into anything?”
